Its a flashback thing

So here's what happened. Normally I walk around 8 miles for work. Today was the same. When work was done I waved merrily to the guy who's training me and looked around to see where I was so I could get a bus.

I should mention at this point that at the beginning of my shift I stepped off a curb wrong and twisted my knee, which I'm sure you can appreciate was now on fire.

It was then I realised I had no idea where I was. Despite being in no mood for more walking I picked a likely direction and set off. Oh dear. I did finally find a bus that would get me to princes street (after about thirty minutes). It was then I realised my poked had a hole in it and at some point during the 8 or so miles I'd walked today it must have fallen out. So I thought ho hum never mind. I have a Plan.

It was laughably complicated. I had two pounds in my bank account so I went to a supermarket and bought a £2 chicken sandwedge with it using the self serve system. Then I took to the streets one more. You see I had reasoned that since no one was just going to give me a pound I figured a simple exchange would be in order. I would find a likely looking person and offer them the £2 sandwedge for £1 of bus fare.

It was then that I discovered one of the unwritten laws of the universe...

"People are unlikely to buy a sandwege in the street for any amount of money when I is offered to them by a windblown, dishevelled, limping guy"

 I went to person to person becoming increasingly hysterical and bitter about teh whole process until finally I gave up (after I might add after offering it to some homeless people-true by the way-). I sat on a bench and ate the sandwedge. It was then that I realised that my stumbling footsteps had moved me further off the beaten track. I chewed thoughtfully.

By this point I was getting very angry indeed, as I ate a homeless person (one I had tried to tap for money earlier) came up to me and asked if I had an spare change. I tried to destroy him with my laser vision but then remembered I didn't have laser vision and that made me more angry still. I trawled my pockets and discovered 31p, nowhere near enough. I finished my lunch and like a general who has heard his army came in second I got up and began to walk again. I walked for a further half hour or so before spying 20p on the ground and snatched it up. I found a 5p later and a few coppers. Then I found princes street. I didn't cry I swear.

So now all i had to do was walk the mile and a half to where I live from princes street. Unforunatly I had now been walking for 6 hours and my knee was radiating pain from my ancle to my groin. I wasn't going to make it. The mathatitions among you will have figured out that I now had 60p on me. There was nothing for it, I was going to have to ask for change.

Go somewhere else to learn the details of the next twenty minutes or so I don't have the guts to tell you what It was like.

To cut a long story short ( i know, too late) I managed to get a pound together. I stood at the bus stop tears of gratitude prikling my eyelids. The bus stopped and I got on.

"A pound please" i said placing the change in with a great clatter of coins. The driver gave me a jaundiced look, then he looked through the little slot.

"Thats never a pound son, there's coppers and all sorts. Where's the rest?"

                                   

" WHAT! It's  a pound" I wailed. "I counted it".

"He was asking for change at the stop" someone behind me said matter of factly.

The driver nodded as if he'd been expecting this.

"Right, Off" he said

"Could I have my pound back at least" I said knowing the answer.

"Off" he repeated.

The passengers looked at me with blank faces as the bus drove away. Not wanting to part with a little free sympathy.

I walked the rest of the way home and stood under the hot shower until the frustration washed away. After all tomorrow is another day and I'm sure that it will be better. Right?. RIGHT?

Its a tiding thing

So It's been a while since I did something stupid. I mean really boneheaded, idiotic, well you get the idea.
Yesterday I got locked out of my flat. My flatmates put the chain on and I couldn't get in. I had to sleep on the landing, when that became too uncomfortable I went to sleep outside. Then I got licked by a dog who was being taken for a walk at 6am.....you don't really know how much you screwed up until you get licked in the face by a strange dog at 6am.
So it was with a slightly spaced out view on the world that I started to tidy my room. It hasn't gotten like....really bad but it needed done.
I hovered, put things away...you know tidied. I drifted off for a bit and I was in the kitchen drinking a glass of water when my phone started ringing. I looked around a couldn't find the bloody thing. The phone went off but whoever it was texted and so the text noise would sound occasionally. I hunted high and low but couldn't find it so I gave up. I went into the fridge to get iron bru and found my phone......and my keys.
Somehow at some point in my mad cleaning spree I had put them in the fridge.
I stood there for sometime looking at my ice cold keys and contemplating how the day started with being licked in the face and was halfway through with frozen debit cards.
I was gonna do some washing but at this stage id end up with one red sock in all the whites and ending up looking like a bottle of pepto bismol.
Sometimes I wander what it's like for normal people who this sort of thing does not happen too. I wonder what they talk about at parties?? hehehe
Plus I tried to use lynx on my face instead of shaving foam. So its been a good day.
Whats you worst day ever story?? This isn't mine but we don't have space on the interwebs for all of that.
I'm away to sit quietly in my room and pray for dawn.

Its a bullying thing

So I was bullied ...allot
( the comedian in me very much wants to just stop there hehehe)
And I know I know everyone gets bullied, nothing new, stop moaning, etc.... but this is what I want to talk about today so , thbbbbtttt ( this btw the noise that you make when you stick your tongue out and blow.....you tried it didn't you, shakes head).

I have a paradoxical  ( a word I just spelt correctly despite that fact I cant spell allot...) feeling towards all the bulling I went through. On one hand i really has affected me in everything I do, say, feel and without it I would be very different. However I don't particularly like myself most of the time so....shrugs.
I can attribute my humour to it though and without the funny i would be COMPLETELY different. You see its harder for someone to pound you if there laughing (yeah ok kicking them in the bollox has the same affect but id need a step ladder). Since I was the centre of attention anyway cos of all the flying rocks at my head i figured I could get it to work for me. Much better to be in the middle of the circle throwing puns than punches.
That said I'm irrationally sensitive about anything i might consider bulling. Sometimes if a friend is just making a joke about me i have to remind myself its all in fun and they don't really mean it. And where's the line? I can call myself fat but if someone shouts "move fatty" in my face, even as a joke, it hurts. I mean is that fair? no its not and frankly it must be hard for the people around me to know whats alright to joke about
It gave me a temper, lets face it i can be a grump at times. ( but don't call me grumpy, it gets me grump.....uh annoyed).
It gave me the ability to laugh at myself, see the pain in others so clearly that I know how to help, never never push a joke to far as to hurt someones feelings.
So what does all this add up too??
Thanks bullies for making me...well me ( i guess), I feel bad that when you look back on our childhood that is what you will remember.( that said I'm sure there was no need for the spitting incident)

So ever been bullied? being bullied now?? ever bullied someone else??
I have to call my mom, once she See's this she'll be worried, wish me luck
P.S Im not sad, worried depressed or being bullied its just what occured to me to write about......SKITTLES

It's a kid thing

So I was talking with a few friends today about their kids and we were sharing stories. I borrowed liberally from my own childhood and from my niece and nephew so i had something to say like but anyway. It occurred to me that allot of the stuff you do as a child and get away with would get you locked up now
1. have a fist fight
2.play by yourself all afternoon, taking to yourself and inventing whole worlds.
3. throwing a screaming meeme's fit in tesco because you cant get penguins
4.stair at someone on the bus till they get uncomfortable and move
5. point at someone in the street and in the loudest voice possible say "why is... physical aspect of someone so big/small/lopsided"
6. ask the why? question more than twice
and so on.
Did we have more fun as kids? is youth really wasted on the young? Of course we all have our childish moments and to misquote Billy Connelly "I don't want to hang around with someone when presented with a whole bunch of lego wont try and make something with it"
Ohhhhh I had the best collection of lego! Every year dad would get a big pirate ship or a police station out of lego, build it once with the instructions then watch with tears in his eyes and his three sons tear it apart and make "spaceshipsfrommars" (all one word deliberate)
One time....Do you remember quantum leap? Do you remember Al had that hand held calculator thing that told him everything? Well I build one of those and we played quantum leap all after noon one time.......coff ive said too much ( we also played Indiana Jones and the staircase of evil, with my papas old had, my dads old tool kit bag and a rubber snake for the whip)
So favourate toy? game?? did you in fact follow the instructions with legos??
Actually speaking of which I have an urge to go get some. talk laterokby
......

WOW you can get harry potter leggos!!!! thats so coooool

Its a love thing part 2

So I watched this video on you tube recently and basically I'd like to share with you what I heard and hopefully it will help you cos you know im all about the nice.
Scientology is awesome
OK kidding
It was called the language of love. There are 5 types of the way that people give and receive love and (according to the vid) they run like this
Words of affirmation
Quality time
Receiving gifts
Acts of service
Physical touch.
What does this mean? Well essentially everyone falls into one of these categories as to how they like to receive love. The kind of stuff that makes you feel better over all others. So perhaps you much prefer spending quality time with your partner to receiving a gift, A hug is better than any number of compliments or if you see them cut the grass or taking out the trash you know they love you.
Conversely how people give love falls into one of these categories too but not always the same one as the way they receive love. So you may take compliments really well but have trouble doling them out to you significant other so instead you give them a foot rub.

Now as for myself I'd have to say I'm a quality time kinda guy. I cant take compliments and I don't hold much value to money or things that cost allot of money. Spend some time with me and it makes me feel allll better.
As for giving I'm an acts of service. When i sense a friend needs some feel goods I do something for them, especially if they don't ask for it. That is how i show love ( a word btw that stands in for friendship  as well etc).

So what are you?
Does showing love for you mean hugs and kisses or just holding hands? Does you boy/girl friend  telling you look beautiful today just do it for you? If I could ask for a favour? Think about your special someone, or just a friend and think about what makes them tick and maby it'll help you get on better and make you feel better in the process. Or you could just think about yourself and think what you really like and tell the other person, that'd work too.
Anyway, hope this helped
Im away to take the bin out :D

It's a moral thing

So at the moment we are studying the Renascence in both history and English class, which is good for me because its related (someone recently asked me if film studies was doing the same thing to which my response was "medieval times didn't produce as many films as you would think"). But it got me thinking, at the time people were becoming conflicted as to what made you a moral person. How did you live your life and aim to be the best possible version of yourself? Medieval times it was easy, be a christian, do what the church said and you were off the hook and no matter my issues with the church they usually do promote, kindness, be good to each other, don't hurt, kill , steal from one another. Then in the Renaissance it was to study the classical arts, philosophy, art, music and they will lead you down the path of being a good person. They argued that with a good education the only logical conclusion you could draw was to be a nice guy. Nowadays its harder.
Thin about it, really think. What makes you a good person? Be nice to you're friends and family? look after your kids? No I say that is something that should be the baseline of your behaviour. Everyone should to that regardless and so doing it doesn't make you "good". Give to charity?? Nope, some of us don't have money to give, does that make us evil?? of course not
Some would even argue of course that I'm being childish and that such black and white notions of good and evil only exist in the comic books. Id have to disagree, Ive seen evil and good in people.
Hand on heart I personally  would say that to try to be a good person IS being a good person. If you try a little bit in every way to be a little better in every way that's you being good.
Sure a little politeness goes along way, do something once in awhile (even if it puts you out) that helps a friend ( and this is the important bit) not waiting for a pat on the head is a good thing.
Trying to put right what once went wrong.....no wait that's quantum leap.
Point is to try, is to improve.

So whats you're opinion on all this? what makes a "good" person??

It's a Scottish thing

Jeeze I dint blog yesterday. Why didn't anyone tell me i cant be expected to remember everything. Actually it was deliberate since im in the middle of essay hell right now. 2, 000 words about ...ahhhh you don't care but its dull anyway.
I try and convince myself that an essay is a way to show off you're knowledge, get excited about what your saying I'm not always successful.
So that's why no post yesterday and prolly  a wee one the day.
I watched braveheart yesterday, no a good film to watch in mixed company. I have friends from all over the globe including England and frankly I'm a modern Scot who believes that all that "auld enemy" nonsense is in the dim and distant past but watch that film and oh mey gods it does things to you. Then anchent gingery bearded Scots  that are your ancestors start clamoring in your veins and all of of a sudden you wearing a bath towel around you waste and claiming yourself to be Chris of clan Blackness avenue and It's not like drink was involved. Certain other things do it too, American tourists exclaiming that "they have roads" also gets copious amounts of ginger hair to grow on my chest...but that's another story
Sigh right this isn't getting any work done back to silent movies of Hollywood, aaaah damn it I promised myself I wouldn't bore you with it, oh well.

Movies you should watch: Chaplin , starring Robert Downey Jr.