its a drunk ting

So this is seriously ill advised.
I'm doing one of these half cut. Don't worry there will be no weeping or secret confessions etc...
If you read this and see its gone in the momrning then i apologise as im too cowardly to keep it up.
OK so I suffer from low self esteem.  I do and I can't shake it. Is it a tiresome thing where I was bullied? or I was predisposed to it because I'm not...classically good looking? Is just a pathetic short, fat guy thing? is it that easy and obvious?? Wow that kinda sucks, id hate to think that im that predictable.
I dont even realise if thats a ral thought or if its just a feel shit about my self thought
I can actually equate that to my dyslexia, bare with me,  when i see a word thats misspelt I know its wrong. I read enough to know that its wrong but I can't  fix it. The soloution is right there in my head but I cant figure it out. The same is true with the self esteem thing. i hear people say nice things about me, intelecually i can see there point but i just dont beleave it. i dont think they are lieing but i just dont buy it.
Tell me this though do you ever really take a compliment...anyone!
Yeaaah didnt think so.
I would love to focus on my positives, honestly, but i dont see it heppenning. Does this make me a chore? im....nice in a goofy way. cute, not hansome I'll go as far as cute. im alway there for people i genuinly want to help.
Im not ugly exaclty just not the norm.... i knew this was a mistake


Look all this has a purpose im not just being weird  (although that is my thing) I wanted to ask everyone. Do you ever feel like this? like you dont really deserve the hapyness you get. if you dont then I should probibly talk to a professional.
Im ...just ..sick of feeling like i dont matter, im so sorry to burden you? with this. you know the worst part?? im nevrer actaully gonna eleave  even if its signed by the lady herself that i can change this about me, am i destined to feel like an asshole forever....


Yeah this is so getting delited tommoro, sorry everyone