It's muttermutter thing

So , I've not done much today as it is the official start of reading week and so I have a lot to do in the next few days. In fact i have only ventured out of the house once. It all started about 45 minutes ago when I was on the toilet ( ill spare you the details) and I realised there was no toilet paper....Some one had used the last of it and then left. ( god knows where I've not seen my flatmates for days)
Annnyway, I discovered I need to go to the shop. I got changed, and left the building. I walked past the library , which I only just discovered was there so I'm edgy about it muttermutter. I walked to the bank machine and tried to insert my student card into it. A trawl of my pockets reviled I had neglected to bring my bank card so it was back to the flat.
muttermutter
I got back to the machine in record time and put the card in the options were "see balance", "pin information", print balance". I shrugged and cancellated that and then reinserted the card. The same three options appeared again. Could this be, I wondered, the machines way of saying it had no money left? So I banged my head against the machine and used the one inside the spar shop. I don't normally use it because it takes a while.
Ice ages passed, I grew my beard out wild man style and then shaved it off again. A couple behind me met, started a family grew and old together, the machine beeped "enter your pin".
mutterMUTter mutter
I got to the shop, picked up beers, crisps, fairy liquid (get lemon or you flatmates hands will erupt into contact dermatitis that makes Freddie Kruger's face look like a mild tan). Get caught staring at a women's ass by her boyfriend only for him to give me the thumbs up sign (more on this later) get some other stuff
Stand in the queue. get bored. start to think about what to write for blog. cant think of anything.
the checkout guy puts my purchases into two bags. In bag A he puts the beers, tin of beans, fairy liquid, pie and into bag B he puts the multi bag of crisps
MUTTERmutTER MUTTER
I start to walk back to the flat as my pants start their inevitable slide towards my ankles. I've no idea why they always wait till my hands are full before doing this but they do.
Its at this point that the boy friend reappears. He smiles at me, gives me the thumbs up again, signs I don't normally associate with a beating so I cautiously wave back.
"This is the guy I told you about Beky" he says
The girl next to me grins. "Alright dancing guy" she says
I laugh once loudly and unconvincingly and carry on my journey. My lopsided bags aren't helping and by the time I get to the steps i'm walking like a man who has two prickly pineapples for testicles in a vain attempt to keep my trousers up. I fall into the flat exhausted from my ordeal and then get to my feet and start unpacking. As I walk out of the kitchen to my room I pass the toilet.........

TOLET ROLL !!!!I FORGOT THE TOLET ROLL

MUTTERMUFUCKBALLSSHITTITSARSEMUTTER


Coff, so.....How are you?
I have to go wipe off all the spleen i just vented off the walls.....I'll probably have to use up all the toilet roll