Technology........bugger

Ooookay a double post but this is just a wee hiya to say that I noticed that I couldn't see the links for all the previous blogs for some reason. So iv'e changed the layout and colour (as you can see) to that end.
Uh yeah that's it....nothing more honest, all ranted out for the day....Look go watch  a friends DVD or something. Watch "The one with the Kips" that's the one where Joey finds out about moneka and chandler, its funny. Go on, I'll be here tomorrow

Computer games ANNOY ME!

So one of my favourite games at the moment is Call of Duty. Number 6 I believe, when black ops comes out it will be number 7 (or if I can't count its number 6). The reason I'm bringing this up is because it's a thing I do in my space time to relive stress that frankly pisses me the hell off. Seriously, I come home after a hard day and say" I know I'll play some COD and an hour later I'm turning the air blue because I'm so annoyed. At no other time do I do this to myself. I don't read a book get frustrated with it and hurl it out the window do I? Or watch movies that deliberately piss me off (well except in class). I'm really asking, I'd like to think its because I want to improve, top get better at something I'm not good at because that's a noble pursuit. Wrong. The worst part I find is that its not the game itself that annoys me its the people who play the game. If you knife them they accuse you of being  a noob knifer, if you shoot them when they don't expect it it's because your using a cheat and so on. And that's if you WINNING against them. If your not doing so well WOW. I wont repeat some of the insults they throw around frankly because I cant spell most of them.
So again I ask you why do I spend my spare time with this? Frankly when the new one comes out I'll probability get it and get annoyed in all new kinds of ways.
Another game that used to annoy the living be-Jesus out of me was silent hill. Ever play that game? hells bells It scared the hell out of me. Scary monster things jumping out of the wood work at you when you only have two bullets left and a radio that doesn't work. I worked the controls and my ex used to help with the puzzles. There was this one puzzle about signs of the zodiac. Pisces had the number zero under it and like the ram had 4, we spent ages on this thing. We drew charts, looked up the internet all that stuff. In the end we went to a shop and looked at the cheat in a book. It was the number of feet every thing had. The number of FEET!!! We were trying to figure out the F$*%ing position they had in the nights A(^(%*ing sky. FEET! GAH!!
I'm not the most reasonable person at the best of times but these games..... anyway I should go, uh read a book or something
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AHHHHH DAMN IT!! where did he even come from!! Stupid game

Looking back , looking forward

So today I fell asleep at the keyboard while studying. Then I woke up and chugged some red bull and ate  a huge bag of skittles to keep myself awake. Just so you know that if this post goes a little south you have a reason to fall back on. Plus this is the second time iv'e written this blog since the last time the computer frozen when I hit the "post" button. sigh
I'm impressed with the studying thing frankly. When I was younger I was indifferent at best to studying and at worst I actively avoided it. Asserting my independence at an age when you life is not your own so any decision you make yourself is a step forward?? perhaps. More likely is because I was an obstinate little shit. You see I didn't need to study, I was going to be a famous comedian and so didn't need to know math. I bet no one ever asked Jim carry what the capital of Spain was. I suffered under this delusion until the age of twenty when I left acting college and had to get a job. I then spent the next year washing dishes and the next ten doing every job you could think of including but not limited to, nurse, shelf stacker, chef, postman,  cold call agent, barman and so on. Now I find myself back in education and this time I'm more mature and can handle it.Hopefully.
I am, like just about everyone else I'm sure, the kind of person who looks at the psst as well as  the future quite allot. Too that end I decided to get organised and find out all the dates for exams and essays due so that i would be less stressed out because Id know what was coming.
That....did not happen.
Now I'm freaking out because there seems so much to do! You can never win.
To that end Im going to quote from a film ( kung fu panda, shhhhhh) that helps me sometimes when I'm feeling a little overwhelmed
"The past Is History. The future is a mystery. And today is a gift. That is why they call it the present"
Words to live by, even though the come from an animated sea turtle.
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If I said the quote was from Shakespeare you wouldn't be smirking at me right now, sheesh

How black and white is Golden

At the moment we are doing the golden age of Hollywood in film class. Obviously a fantastic area of film history to study and one I am enjoying immensely. However today in tutorial ( at 9am I might add, thank you fate you wicked bitch) we were talking about the movie called "Sunrise", made in 1927, before sound had really taken off and everything was still in black and white. It was universally hated in our class but after talking to our tutor for a while at least some of us (including me, such a little swot) agreed that it had some merits.
This was fine however when he started to say that really we needed a basic understanding of photography, art history, theatre lighting, history of music to understand movies I got a little lost.
It got worse because some of the class suddenly stared chiming in saying "Ah yes I did notice that the movie played very like a symphony" or "Well i did think the way the movie was shot was very Rembrandt" suddenly I was in hell.
Surrounded by people who knew what was going on and others nodding I felt like Id joined the wrong class.It was a nightmare, I even looked down to make sure I was still clothed......In most of my nightmares I'm naked, thought I ought to explain....now I have said too much, hmmmm this is awkward.
AAaaaaaanyway It was weird to be in a familiar surrounding and to have no idea what was going on. To this end I have come home and done some extra reading stuff so it doesn't happen again.
Rembrandt was so good at art he was practically considered to be a prophet of his time.
A symphony  is an extended musical composition that has no fixed set of rules but is almost always done with an orchestra.
I'm gonna totally rock next weeks tutorial, when we shall be studying........It happened one night,(reads)  a screwball comedy that....aaaaaaaaahhhhh fuckit :(
English and History are still entitled " the Renaissance: How the Greeks were pure awesome and that"
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I have some reading to do

Janus two sides of the same coin

Public face(stuff im thinking on the surface)

So today im reading a book that i bought for myself called, Eats, shoots and leaves by Lynnne Truss. Now I'm sure most of you will have read or at least herd of this book, as I sold a bijillion copy's (not a real number). A am now on page..... 134 and I have come to two conclusions
1.  I will never understand punctuation and grammar
2. this women is insane
Now Im sure you're sitting there saying oh come on now Chris being a little obsessed with grammar doesn't make you insane but i ask you just how far removed do you have to be from encouraging readiners to phone the paper up and complain about missing full stops or putting stickers over extraction apostrophe's on bill bored' s to putting your underpants over your head and going "wibble"
I cant even use my dyslexia as an excuse ass i don't think ignorance of the comma is included in the package.


Private face     ( stuff im thinking deeper than that)

You are not who you think you are.

Someone famous once said 'beauty is in the eye of the beholder' or in less exalted science talk ' the act of observing something changes the thing being observed'

Take me for example, what I see  an overweight, short, balding (front and back now with going grey as well for the triple score) guy. I talk too much and never really have anything to say. I'm messy, clumsy, find my own jokes funny and frankly annoy myself a good percentage of the time.

However other see something different. My parents see someone who tries hard but never seems to get in together. My brothers look up to me in alot of ways. My friends see  someone who can relied upon and is a good listener, someone who likes to laugh and has a kind word to say about almost everyone

 So you see relying on your own thoughts for reference is like looking at your reflection in a crack mirror, you can still see your face but its distorted.

So the next time you fell like all your doing is shovelling shit from a kneeling position and that nothing is ever good enough, just remember you are not who you think you are. You're much better than that

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Sunday will be now known as Hungover day.

So its Sunday, traditionally a lazy day. Full of relaxation, breakfast in bed, the newspaper, long walks and sunday drives, birds singing in the trees, a BBQ with some select friends.....
Yeeeaaaano, you see the reality is very diferant fomr the one we see on telly and adverts. For oe thing if yiou are a certain age (15-65) you are probibly hung over. This means that, eating, driving, and readin are all out. Plus if there are birds singing in the trees you are shouting at them.
So whats a real sunday like? Well it depends on your life style, if you have kids then its CBBES from 6am untill 5pm, with breackfast, lunch and dinner in between. If your a student, like me, then well ok you should be studing , like me, or you're hungover and studing (ie youve got the books open but your just doodling in the margins). If you are onne of the above? god knows, what does a sober sunday look like? Maby you do go for long drives in teh country or read the paper in bed. Sounds awful. Do you reacon people realise when they are being clechie?
I never could get the hang of Sundays. Any fun you do have is tempered by the fact that tommoro is Monday. If God exisited then im sure I ccan gues the stuff he made on a Monday. Traffic wardens, late notices, assemble it yourself furniture and adverts on youtube. When I worked as a chef I did notice the number of complaints went up. Not I hasten to add because the food was any less good but because people were in such a foul mood because they had to be back at work that they found more fault in things. My personal favourate being "This chillie is spicy. I dont like chillie spicy"
To which the head chef replyed "So you want mince then?"
Of course now its all changed, monday too me is just another day. In fact Monday isnt really bad at all apart for my 4pm tutoral.
No fuckit Mondays are ,and always will be, the basturd child of the week.
The new Chirs week will now look like this, Starting with Monday.
Shitday
Funday
homeworkday
is it friday?
thank fuck its friday
Wahoo!day
Hungoverday
What do you do on a sunday? drive hungover? forget greggs is shut and thump your head against the glass? eat what ever the hell you bought from the kebab shop last night and then actually feel better???
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If I drink beer now does it count as leftovers from last night?

It's always sunny somewhere

So today its a bit chilly, really chilly in fact. Autumn is on its way. However today my flatmate and I sat and a park bend eating Sammiches and admiring the sun through the clouds. We sat there for a good half hour soaking in the wee rays before moving on and going "down the shops".
I am now sitting in my chilly autumn flat with a sun burn and frankly I feel ridiculous.
This all aside i do like Autumn, its my favourite season. The rain doesn't bother me and frankly when your a little heavy like me you don't get on well on the very hot weather, plus there's the "fat guy in shorts" issue...shudder.
Even on holiday with my parents, we would go on these fantastic holiday to these far flung locations and my brothers would be running around in trunks and then I would appear on the horizon. Through the hazy summer sun a stockish figure would appear dressed in long sleeved white shirt and trousers and a large brimmed hat. Then i would go sit in the shade and read for two weeks.
I was like the man from delmontie's anti social son.
i cant even blame it on being a Scottish thing, when I lived in Edinburgh the temperature would only have to rise above freezing and people would be throwing shirts and ties off and running to princes street gardens. Let me tell you being advised on your finances by a bank manager who smells of sun tan oil and is wearing his tie on his forehead because he tied the not too tight earlier is an awkward experience.
So whats your favourite season? Are you a sun child or do you prefer being bundled up and throwing snowballs??
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Pass the aftersun would you

It's a confrontation thing

I hate confrontations almost as much as I hate having to spell the word. I want everyone to be nice to each other and to be nice to me. That said I have a horrable temper and tend to fly off the handle for no reason (or at least not a good reason). Being shouteted at when you're not expecting it makes you defensive and in turn makes you shout back this then leads to an argument.
I hate arguments too, I always seem to come up with a briallant put down a few hours later, usually when Im trying to sleep.
Drift, driiiift, driiiiiiiiiiiI should have said "fuck you, you slack jawed chunder chunk" yeah that would have been good.
Then I spend some time giggling.
When I was in school it was simple. If someone got on your case you gave them a thump. That is simply not how the adult world works. You have to work through your problems with the other person, however this rather assumed the person you are arguing with is a reasonable person and lets face it if you're having a screaming match with someone they probibly arn't reasonable.....and a wanker.
So today I did some reading for history class, about Chris Columbas. Now as everyone knows, despite being famous for his cartography and navigation abilities, the man failed to find India not once but four times.
I have to wonder if his crew wern't getting a little sick of him after the first two times.
Columbus: At last I have discovered a short cut to India and it's fabulous spice trade, Its glowing sandy white beaches, its palm trees and ....its.......spearwealding.......natives, fuckme I've done it again havent I?
Crewman: Yes. Yes you have...sigh I'll get the map.

What I didn't realise untill today however was that Columbus simply refused to accept he had not found India, despite all the evidence. He seemed to think that India (which was quite sophistacated at the time), was populated by naked people dwelling in mud huts.


This brings me back to the subject of confrontations. I have to think the natives of what is now the U.S of A simply let the white man take thier land and resouirces simply because they were, like me, not wanting to create a fuss

Question time. "What is You're worst habit when It coms to fights? Do you sulk?, throw things?, always try to get the last word in?"

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I have to go write a strongly worded postit to my flatmates

The age thing

So, here I am again. I used to blog waaaaaay back in 1998 or so on a little something called myspace. Then of course facebook bame along and it didnt have a blog function so I gave it up. Anyway what im trying to say is that it became terribly uncool to blog and now im guessing its looped round to cool again...right?? RIGHT???
Coff, I'd like to talk about age. Age is relative. If your twenty and your talking to your granny on the phone you feel young, however if you are talking to you five year old nephew and he says "Uncle Chris why are you so old" then you feel.....sniff, waaaaa!
Starting again o.0
As you have probably gotten from the title ( and the content ) the theme of my blogging is always rambling nonsense. The kind of thing where by if you were next to me you'd say "Chris shut the f up". Lucky for me your not here to shout at me.
Age does have benefits however. With every passing year I appreciate Terry Prattchet even more. I can go to uni now where as when I was in my twenties I was too immature to do it. Just ask my ex :). Actually don't do that I'm not sure if id want to hear hehehe.
I also can say with honesty that I care less and less about what other people think of me, which is good because it was a problem when I was young. I cared so deeply and passionately about what others thought that I'm not sure if I had a unique thought that was all my own for the first 15 years of my life.
I don't think about my age, much like I don't think about my height unless its pointed out. (although hanging around a buncha 20 year olds its mentioned quite a bit ) but I will say I'm a happier 30 year old than I was a 20 year old. If only the absent-mindedness wasn't such a big part of it.
In my old bloggs I would always end with a question so here it is.
"In your own head, no matter how old your body is, how old do you feel?"
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now where did I put my keys?