HI!
So I'm sure you are wondering why you haven't heard from me in a while. Well this blog is called ramblings but frankly it should be called rantings because the times i feel most compelled to write a blog is when im hacked off at something. Hence my dilemma.
You see things are kinda ok for me at the moment. More ok than they have been in a long time. So when every things going fine what do you write about?
I'm glad you asked.
I was thinking of doing an advice thing, you know for weight loss, See i spent a loo--ha--ooong time on the Internet tyring to find advice on weight loss and exercise. Not a quick fix, not pills or surgery. Nothing like that. I just wanted advice i could follow and there is nothing.
Nothing out there for people who just want to loose weight and arnt bothered about a little hard work. What do you think?
I'll put it here and of course the links ill be on facebook but i thought id see what you'll thought. Frankly I'm a little worried that someone who looks like i do shouldn't really be giving out nutritional advice.
Anyway let me know.
That aside
Uni doesn't start for another month at least and I'm going nuts. I miss my friends, I miss hanging out, I miss having people to talk too. I'm nearly half way through the pile of book i have set out and frankly i thought it would take me longer to get through them.
Hahahaha, look at that i have things to complain about after all, heh
Wednesday 20 July 2011
Saturday 14 May 2011
its a drunk thingk 7
So, drunk blogging number 7 i think
Howr you doing?
Im ok but i worry for my friends. My life as it is right now is a no score draw. No realtionship, no job ( but student so its ok) but on the other hand no drama. If im honest i kinda miss drama, dont get me wrong bland has its benifits. But if you ave neather highs nor lows then you slide into the beige. this is bad.
Your life is defined by the events that happen in it if you have no events the your life has no meaning. I think that u have to suffer indignanty, heartbreak and abuse before you know what its all about
look i dnont have the answers, i wish i did but its just not my gift. out there someone knoews the exact words to say but its not me
but bak to my mates.
recenrtly alot of my friends have had to deal with things they realy sholdnt have tp. its not fair. they are good people and yet stuff happens to them wworthy of a neal gamen comic.
i pride myself on bein g the guy who everyone omes too with problems.
i WANT to be the guy everyone comes too
that said here is my advice
1 you will never make it unless you surround yourself with good people, not people who just agrrree with you
2you need to be honest wih youself, im not talking self depricaring , im talkig honest homnest
3 you neeed someone who loves you for who you are, and then will put up with you for the next 50 years
5dont let yourself get caught up in yourhead tpo much , its not a good place o be
6if ur unsure talk to someone about it
7 and most omportant : the act of observice changes the very thing you are observiing. This is a univeral law, considr that when thinking about youself or indeed others
ttfn
Howr you doing?
Im ok but i worry for my friends. My life as it is right now is a no score draw. No realtionship, no job ( but student so its ok) but on the other hand no drama. If im honest i kinda miss drama, dont get me wrong bland has its benifits. But if you ave neather highs nor lows then you slide into the beige. this is bad.
Your life is defined by the events that happen in it if you have no events the your life has no meaning. I think that u have to suffer indignanty, heartbreak and abuse before you know what its all about
look i dnont have the answers, i wish i did but its just not my gift. out there someone knoews the exact words to say but its not me
but bak to my mates.
recenrtly alot of my friends have had to deal with things they realy sholdnt have tp. its not fair. they are good people and yet stuff happens to them wworthy of a neal gamen comic.
i pride myself on bein g the guy who everyone omes too with problems.
i WANT to be the guy everyone comes too
that said here is my advice
1 you will never make it unless you surround yourself with good people, not people who just agrrree with you
2you need to be honest wih youself, im not talking self depricaring , im talkig honest homnest
3 you neeed someone who loves you for who you are, and then will put up with you for the next 50 years
5dont let yourself get caught up in yourhead tpo much , its not a good place o be
6if ur unsure talk to someone about it
7 and most omportant : the act of observice changes the very thing you are observiing. This is a univeral law, considr that when thinking about youself or indeed others
ttfn
Monday 9 May 2011
Size doesn't matter
So they say size doesn't matter. This is true to an extent if you truly love someone then how tall, short, fat, thin they are shou...
well what did you think I was....
you people are filthy.
Anyway size doesn't matter so answer me this. WTF is a size "8" say?
Now when It comes to guy sizes it makes sense. 28 inches is 28 inches. Its a measurement that can be quantified and also gives you an idea of what size you are. With women its different size 10 means nothing. Its an arbitrary number. They could have called it "pinnini" and it would make the same amount of sense.
The really infuriating thing is that I could sort of see there point if these arbitrary numbers were the same across the bored. A 12 is a 12 in M&S, PRIMARK or TOPSHOP but its not. An M&S 12 is different from a TOPSHOP 12.
(Its not just a 12 its a M&S 12, mmmmmm foood)
aaaanyway.
Point is that not only does the number mean nothing its no even a consistent imaginary number. What makes a size 10 different from a size 12?? Gain a little holiday weight? Well you gone up by 2.
Wait ...what???
Oh but only if you shop here. If you shop HERE then you've gone down 4.
Your just making shit up now right?
sadly no
This extends to male ware too to an extent. An XL shirt is different in every store you go into. On me an XL from PRIMAK fits like a dream ( if I were an African elephant) however if I try to squeeze my increasingly (L) frame into an XL from TOPMAN its like trying to put a double duvet into a single duvet cover.
Its horseshit.
Then of course there is size zero...
Who the FUCK thought introducing a size zero was a good idea. Surely size zero is dead??
"removes sunglasses"
"What have we got?"
"well serge it looks like she died when she bent down to pick up a pencil and she snapped in half"
"death by stationary how.... pointless"
"good one serge"
By adding a baseline of zero they have given lots of invulnerable teenage girls something to aim for. Before it was just "skinny as possible" now its "death"?
Now i am no fan of math, frankly one day I feel like math and I are going to have to have a gladiatorial fight to the death one day but frankly i think there has to be an alternative to this random bullcrap. If you are going to assign a random number at least make it consistent with other stores
well what did you think I was....
you people are filthy.
Anyway size doesn't matter so answer me this. WTF is a size "8" say?
Now when It comes to guy sizes it makes sense. 28 inches is 28 inches. Its a measurement that can be quantified and also gives you an idea of what size you are. With women its different size 10 means nothing. Its an arbitrary number. They could have called it "pinnini" and it would make the same amount of sense.
The really infuriating thing is that I could sort of see there point if these arbitrary numbers were the same across the bored. A 12 is a 12 in M&S, PRIMARK or TOPSHOP but its not. An M&S 12 is different from a TOPSHOP 12.
(Its not just a 12 its a M&S 12, mmmmmm foood)
aaaanyway.
Point is that not only does the number mean nothing its no even a consistent imaginary number. What makes a size 10 different from a size 12?? Gain a little holiday weight? Well you gone up by 2.
Wait ...what???
Oh but only if you shop here. If you shop HERE then you've gone down 4.
Your just making shit up now right?
sadly no
This extends to male ware too to an extent. An XL shirt is different in every store you go into. On me an XL from PRIMAK fits like a dream ( if I were an African elephant) however if I try to squeeze my increasingly (L) frame into an XL from TOPMAN its like trying to put a double duvet into a single duvet cover.
Its horseshit.
Then of course there is size zero...
Who the FUCK thought introducing a size zero was a good idea. Surely size zero is dead??
"removes sunglasses"
"What have we got?"
"well serge it looks like she died when she bent down to pick up a pencil and she snapped in half"
"death by stationary how.... pointless"
"good one serge"
By adding a baseline of zero they have given lots of invulnerable teenage girls something to aim for. Before it was just "skinny as possible" now its "death"?
Now i am no fan of math, frankly one day I feel like math and I are going to have to have a gladiatorial fight to the death one day but frankly i think there has to be an alternative to this random bullcrap. If you are going to assign a random number at least make it consistent with other stores
Sunday 1 May 2011
A letter to myself
So my flatmate just gave me a good idea. He said that he used to write letters to himself when he was younger and it was very theraputic. I am aware that your not supposed to show these to people ...but you know me. I can't keep anything to myself. The thing is that I am so forgiving of everyone but myself so this should be interesting to try out. Here goes... Oh also I really suggest you all do this. I hear its good times.
Dear Chris, How are you? Im fine. I hear you've got exams right now and I know how stressed you get about things so I just wanted to say relax and try not to procrastinate too much LOL kidding. I have been meaning to write for a while because I have some things to say. I must warn you, there is going to be some compliments, and I know you hate those.
You're actually a good guy you know that right? You have some weird thing in your head that tells your not but I think it might be time to let go of all the things that were said to you in school dont you? That was a long time ago, you were differant and so they were they. Plus you were all kids a loooong time ago time to move on.
You just had a birthday right? Wow 31, you kinda old hehehehe. I'm so proud of you for getting back into uni and managing to get to at least 2nd year. Academics never seemed to be your thing so it cool that you managed to change that. Have you given any thought to what your doing next? I suppose there is still time to think about that. Actually it perhaps to start taking the writing thing seriously. Write every day that kind of thing .I think you might be able to make it as a writer I really do.
I also like the fact that you have accepted your oddness recently, you used to kind of fight it when you were a kid and yeah I know everyone is unique and so therefore no-one is but you do seem to think in a squed way which is awesome. Your like part cartoon.
OK the girlfriend thing. It gonna happen mate. It happened once before and I know you never thought that would happen ever so youve been wrong before. Plus your older and wiser now . Besides you have been at uni for 2 years now so I have to assume your at least 2 years old. Move on you plonker hehehe.
Keep the gym and diet going, nice one on all that weight loss but you have to keep it up or you'll end up a tubby again :). That said your not as fat as you think you are. In fact pretty soon you wont be able to use the fat thing as an excuse. You know what im talking about.
Anyway It's been fine catching up maby write me back some time.
Yrs, Penfold
P.S Would it kill you to at least try and pay yourself a compliment once in a while the self depricating thing was so 10 years ago, sheesh.
well.....that was ..............weird
ttfn
Dear Chris, How are you? Im fine. I hear you've got exams right now and I know how stressed you get about things so I just wanted to say relax and try not to procrastinate too much LOL kidding. I have been meaning to write for a while because I have some things to say. I must warn you, there is going to be some compliments, and I know you hate those.
You're actually a good guy you know that right? You have some weird thing in your head that tells your not but I think it might be time to let go of all the things that were said to you in school dont you? That was a long time ago, you were differant and so they were they. Plus you were all kids a loooong time ago time to move on.
You just had a birthday right? Wow 31, you kinda old hehehehe. I'm so proud of you for getting back into uni and managing to get to at least 2nd year. Academics never seemed to be your thing so it cool that you managed to change that. Have you given any thought to what your doing next? I suppose there is still time to think about that. Actually it perhaps to start taking the writing thing seriously. Write every day that kind of thing .I think you might be able to make it as a writer I really do.
I also like the fact that you have accepted your oddness recently, you used to kind of fight it when you were a kid and yeah I know everyone is unique and so therefore no-one is but you do seem to think in a squed way which is awesome. Your like part cartoon.
OK the girlfriend thing. It gonna happen mate. It happened once before and I know you never thought that would happen ever so youve been wrong before. Plus your older and wiser now . Besides you have been at uni for 2 years now so I have to assume your at least 2 years old. Move on you plonker hehehe.
Keep the gym and diet going, nice one on all that weight loss but you have to keep it up or you'll end up a tubby again :). That said your not as fat as you think you are. In fact pretty soon you wont be able to use the fat thing as an excuse. You know what im talking about.
Anyway It's been fine catching up maby write me back some time.
Yrs, Penfold
P.S Would it kill you to at least try and pay yourself a compliment once in a while the self depricating thing was so 10 years ago, sheesh.
well.....that was ..............weird
ttfn
Saturday 30 April 2011
Its a drukn thing 10
So her's what happejed. A women asked for a water at the queue for clarkies....lik etwenty minutes mago. and th guy next to her bought it for her. She was an attractive women and i got pisssy about it. So when she ordered her food i said "will you pay for this yourself?" i did not expect the reaction I got.
She was alsmost in tears
"I dont know why that guy got me a water for free, im sorry"
I said "but your an attractive women surly you get stuff bought for u all the time"
she was actually in tears by this point
"no. im sorry, i dont know wht ur tlking about, leave me alone"
yeah that right i upset an attractive womn cos i assumed she knerw it.
NOw this is very disturbing to me. I always think i know exatlywha i look like, i have a very clear picture in my head what my issueds are. HOwever t would appear that i dont know shit.
I have always porided myself on knowing what is going on ith women, its lik my thing. But this was soimething differant, she seesmed to have no idea what the problem was.
I said to her that i was sorrry and that i had judged her badly, that because she waas attractive i had made an assumtion that was not only untrue ut unfair. Again she did not clcik on.
i felt my own eyes fill with teaRS .
is it really that bad? do women feel so little for themselves? this is bad .do you realise just how men view you? i am sure u have a negative sterio type in your head of how it is but ther is a purity behin irt.
You are stunning
Im serious, see that small curve in you tummy that u hte so much? guy LOVE that, its hot. A little tummy is awesome. You think ur butt ius to big? fuck that nonsence guys think that hot too.
I could go on but its more than that. You are beautiful, not only because u are phisically attrativr but because u have understanding. You get us! no-one has ever "got us" b efore and here is tis wonderful , attractive amazing women who get it!! how can that not be sexy?
I just dont think you know how beautiful you are. The way you laugh it off when we pay you a compliment, the way you say good morning when the day starts, the way you give us a random hug, Its so perfect :D
Thankyou
Wwe love you, just the ewy you are
She was alsmost in tears
"I dont know why that guy got me a water for free, im sorry"
I said "but your an attractive women surly you get stuff bought for u all the time"
she was actually in tears by this point
"no. im sorry, i dont know wht ur tlking about, leave me alone"
yeah that right i upset an attractive womn cos i assumed she knerw it.
NOw this is very disturbing to me. I always think i know exatlywha i look like, i have a very clear picture in my head what my issueds are. HOwever t would appear that i dont know shit.
I have always porided myself on knowing what is going on ith women, its lik my thing. But this was soimething differant, she seesmed to have no idea what the problem was.
I said to her that i was sorrry and that i had judged her badly, that because she waas attractive i had made an assumtion that was not only untrue ut unfair. Again she did not clcik on.
i felt my own eyes fill with teaRS .
is it really that bad? do women feel so little for themselves? this is bad .do you realise just how men view you? i am sure u have a negative sterio type in your head of how it is but ther is a purity behin irt.
You are stunning
Im serious, see that small curve in you tummy that u hte so much? guy LOVE that, its hot. A little tummy is awesome. You think ur butt ius to big? fuck that nonsence guys think that hot too.
I could go on but its more than that. You are beautiful, not only because u are phisically attrativr but because u have understanding. You get us! no-one has ever "got us" b efore and here is tis wonderful , attractive amazing women who get it!! how can that not be sexy?
I just dont think you know how beautiful you are. The way you laugh it off when we pay you a compliment, the way you say good morning when the day starts, the way you give us a random hug, Its so perfect :D
Thankyou
Wwe love you, just the ewy you are
Friday 22 April 2011
Of exams and self truth
Hiya
Soo for a while now, and by a while I mean 31 years or so I have been somewhat...self deprecating about myself. Now most of the time It's just me trying to be funny ( i do that). However it recently been brought to my attention that its not the most attractive quality. Who wants to spend time with someone who is down on themselves all the time after all.
I have had success recently with setting a goal and actually doing it (weight loss heh) so this is my plan. Perhaps ease up on the self depreciating humour. I'm not going to promise that I'll succeed absolutely right away after all its a hard habit to break.
Now thinking back i don't even know when it started. I was always like this weird, funny etc but when did the self ...hating thing start. i think it was high school. I always felt sorry for myself in primary school but didn't hae the mental capacity to understand just how much it wold affect me. But in high school is when it kicked off. I wont bore you with it all. Ive mentioned how much i hated that place until the tale has gone stale so we'll skip it.
Point is that it became a way of taking the insults as my own and so therefore i was in control.
However surrounded as i am by people who don't wish me ill it makes the coping technique a bit redundant
SO!
For a week I'll try and not "be that guy" im not going to turn into pure ego but for a change i'll try not and be someone who is down on himself.
Scary stuff.
Whats else is going on right now?
Revision.
I have an uneasy relationship with revision. When I was about 15 or so my parents would make me revise for exams and in my clever way i would dig my heals in and just not. That shows them, I thought, I'll not study HAH!
And then I failed my exams
So when it comes around for exam time nowadays I never feel like I do enough. Plus I still have a healthy dose of laziness about my personality heh. But then who doesn't.
Someone said that their definition of insanity is trying something the same way every time and expecting something different every time.
My revision is like that.
I do nothing, expect to pass and then dont.
See, crazy :)
Aaaaaanyway. i want to say to everyone, Good luck with your exams. Try not to worry too much you'll be grand. And i wont slag myself anymore....for a week heh
This post was brought to you by BUDWISER
Soo for a while now, and by a while I mean 31 years or so I have been somewhat...self deprecating about myself. Now most of the time It's just me trying to be funny ( i do that). However it recently been brought to my attention that its not the most attractive quality. Who wants to spend time with someone who is down on themselves all the time after all.
I have had success recently with setting a goal and actually doing it (weight loss heh) so this is my plan. Perhaps ease up on the self depreciating humour. I'm not going to promise that I'll succeed absolutely right away after all its a hard habit to break.
Now thinking back i don't even know when it started. I was always like this weird, funny etc but when did the self ...hating thing start. i think it was high school. I always felt sorry for myself in primary school but didn't hae the mental capacity to understand just how much it wold affect me. But in high school is when it kicked off. I wont bore you with it all. Ive mentioned how much i hated that place until the tale has gone stale so we'll skip it.
Point is that it became a way of taking the insults as my own and so therefore i was in control.
However surrounded as i am by people who don't wish me ill it makes the coping technique a bit redundant
SO!
For a week I'll try and not "be that guy" im not going to turn into pure ego but for a change i'll try not and be someone who is down on himself.
Scary stuff.
Whats else is going on right now?
Revision.
I have an uneasy relationship with revision. When I was about 15 or so my parents would make me revise for exams and in my clever way i would dig my heals in and just not. That shows them, I thought, I'll not study HAH!
And then I failed my exams
So when it comes around for exam time nowadays I never feel like I do enough. Plus I still have a healthy dose of laziness about my personality heh. But then who doesn't.
Someone said that their definition of insanity is trying something the same way every time and expecting something different every time.
My revision is like that.
I do nothing, expect to pass and then dont.
See, crazy :)
Aaaaaanyway. i want to say to everyone, Good luck with your exams. Try not to worry too much you'll be grand. And i wont slag myself anymore....for a week heh
This post was brought to you by BUDWISER
Tuesday 12 April 2011
Chris empty's the bins
To let you understand I'm a little hungover.
I go into the kitchen to make a snack and see my flatmates have being playing bin jenga. How this is played is when the bin is full just pile more and more crap on top of it until something falls off. The person who makes the crap fall off has to empty the bin. We all cry "jenga" and I die a little inside.
Fetid stink of bin makes my head pound. Go into drawer to find bin liners. There is none. Straighten up and stair into the middle distance I I calculate the likely hood of sending out a flatmate, realise I can't calculate the number of feet i have right now. Give up.
Go into room out one sock on. Cant find other sock. Feel bitter tears begin to well up but choke them down. Decide "Fuck socks" with a muttered grumble and put shoes on. Find keys and bank card.
Stumble out of house and down close, open door to outside and scream as the sun burns my eyes and sets fire to my hair. Stumble down to cross roads of death . NO traffic, look left , then right, then left. Take one step.
HOOOOOOOOONK
car screetches round corner.
Decide to wait for green man. Wait. meantime old people dodder across empty road, small children frolic across it like its an enchanted meadow. I stoically stay of side of road ignoring the points and derisory laughter.
Green man appears along with high pitched beeping with each beep hammering into skull like nails into sheet metal.
Walk to bank machine. put card in. stare at keypad until it tells me what the number is. put number in and read the screen "we are dealing with your request"
Begin to mutter darkly about the phrasing. We are dealing ?? deal nothing give me my money. Request?? its not a fucking request its a fucking order, give me my money.
Machine gives me my money and tells me to have a nice day, i tell it to fuck off.
Get into shop. March past the magazines of despair but read to quickly and accidentally catch one of the titles
"I have had seven miscarries but im desperate for a baby!" Fight black urge to kill self at the monumental fuckery of this sentence and carry on.
Search aisles unseeingly already forgotten what im in the shop for. Suddenly remember.
£2!! for fucking 10 bins bags??? why don't i just bend over?
Pick up a few other bits and peaces including something for dinner.
two people at checkout. 1 hot chick 2 old guy who drove a t -Rex to work when he was younger.
sigh at the sad inevitability of it all.
i get old guy
picks up items one at a time stairs at them like its the first time he's ever seen one and then scans it.
four hours later he's done and I can go on my way
Totter back to the flat and begin emptying bin. there is enough crap left over to fill another bin bag. Take bins down. On returning to my flat my flatmate is in the kitchen cheerfully telling me there was bin bags in the drawer after all.
I try and fry him alive using my hex vision by sheer force of will. it fails.
sit heavily at computer chair a broken husk of a man and begin typing...
I go into the kitchen to make a snack and see my flatmates have being playing bin jenga. How this is played is when the bin is full just pile more and more crap on top of it until something falls off. The person who makes the crap fall off has to empty the bin. We all cry "jenga" and I die a little inside.
Fetid stink of bin makes my head pound. Go into drawer to find bin liners. There is none. Straighten up and stair into the middle distance I I calculate the likely hood of sending out a flatmate, realise I can't calculate the number of feet i have right now. Give up.
Go into room out one sock on. Cant find other sock. Feel bitter tears begin to well up but choke them down. Decide "Fuck socks" with a muttered grumble and put shoes on. Find keys and bank card.
Stumble out of house and down close, open door to outside and scream as the sun burns my eyes and sets fire to my hair. Stumble down to cross roads of death . NO traffic, look left , then right, then left. Take one step.
HOOOOOOOOONK
car screetches round corner.
Decide to wait for green man. Wait. meantime old people dodder across empty road, small children frolic across it like its an enchanted meadow. I stoically stay of side of road ignoring the points and derisory laughter.
Green man appears along with high pitched beeping with each beep hammering into skull like nails into sheet metal.
Walk to bank machine. put card in. stare at keypad until it tells me what the number is. put number in and read the screen "we are dealing with your request"
Begin to mutter darkly about the phrasing. We are dealing ?? deal nothing give me my money. Request?? its not a fucking request its a fucking order, give me my money.
Machine gives me my money and tells me to have a nice day, i tell it to fuck off.
Get into shop. March past the magazines of despair but read to quickly and accidentally catch one of the titles
"I have had seven miscarries but im desperate for a baby!" Fight black urge to kill self at the monumental fuckery of this sentence and carry on.
Search aisles unseeingly already forgotten what im in the shop for. Suddenly remember.
£2!! for fucking 10 bins bags??? why don't i just bend over?
Pick up a few other bits and peaces including something for dinner.
two people at checkout. 1 hot chick 2 old guy who drove a t -Rex to work when he was younger.
sigh at the sad inevitability of it all.
i get old guy
picks up items one at a time stairs at them like its the first time he's ever seen one and then scans it.
four hours later he's done and I can go on my way
Totter back to the flat and begin emptying bin. there is enough crap left over to fill another bin bag. Take bins down. On returning to my flat my flatmate is in the kitchen cheerfully telling me there was bin bags in the drawer after all.
I try and fry him alive using my hex vision by sheer force of will. it fails.
sit heavily at computer chair a broken husk of a man and begin typing...
Monday 11 April 2011
The three type of people
There are 3 types of people in this world. The introverts. The extroverts. Then there is me ;)
The introverts: Frank how you get that cut on your forehead
Uh I cut myself shaving
But...Its on your foreh.....
SHAVING!
The extroverts: Frank how you get that cut on your forehead?
Whoa! There was this women and she was being attacked. by two NO three guys with baseball bats, no, machetes.. Tell a lie it was 4 guys...... and a tiger
Me: Chris how you get that cut on your forehead?
Well.....I was in the shower, and I sneezed. Cracking my face off the wall. Disorientated and in pain I got soap in my eyes (and in the cut). I tried to find the water again, my eyes squeezed shut, and fell out of the shower. I lay on the floor, naked, bleeding and in pain.
And then the cat walks in (oh this story happened a few years ago now btw). The cat has always hated me and I can clearly see in her eyes the spill words "Another proud moment for you Chris?"
Then it decides my back would make a good bed. She hops up to my back and tried to curl up. I try and shake her off and she digs the claws in.
Can you imagine if more people were like me?
Can you imagine if you boss showed up late for work and his reason for being late was not his car broke down or he slept in? But he'd locked himself out of his house naked and when he'd tried to get his neighbours to help they called the police.
I think the world would be a happier place. True Id have to find a new thing to make me unique but id be willing to take the hit :)
Something to think about
The introverts: Frank how you get that cut on your forehead
Uh I cut myself shaving
But...Its on your foreh.....
SHAVING!
The extroverts: Frank how you get that cut on your forehead?
Whoa! There was this women and she was being attacked. by two NO three guys with baseball bats, no, machetes.. Tell a lie it was 4 guys...... and a tiger
Me: Chris how you get that cut on your forehead?
Well.....I was in the shower, and I sneezed. Cracking my face off the wall. Disorientated and in pain I got soap in my eyes (and in the cut). I tried to find the water again, my eyes squeezed shut, and fell out of the shower. I lay on the floor, naked, bleeding and in pain.
And then the cat walks in (oh this story happened a few years ago now btw). The cat has always hated me and I can clearly see in her eyes the spill words "Another proud moment for you Chris?"
Then it decides my back would make a good bed. She hops up to my back and tried to curl up. I try and shake her off and she digs the claws in.
Can you imagine if more people were like me?
Can you imagine if you boss showed up late for work and his reason for being late was not his car broke down or he slept in? But he'd locked himself out of his house naked and when he'd tried to get his neighbours to help they called the police.
I think the world would be a happier place. True Id have to find a new thing to make me unique but id be willing to take the hit :)
Something to think about
Friday 1 April 2011
Its a drunk thing part..um prolly 4 or 5??
So! Hiya!
What I wanted to talk about today is something a little different from the norm because usually when something pops into the empty abyss that is my skull it is because it is something that i know something about or have personally experienced but today I want to talk about being gay.
Like most gay people I knew right from the start what I looked for in a partner however because I'm straight It was an easy thing. I never had to sit my parents down, look them straight in the eye and say " mom dad I like bewbs".
Frankly in this day and age the fact that being gay is still an issue frankly annoys the crap out of me. When was the last time you actually talked to someone actually cared wither or not you were gay, straight or even a star trek fan?? You cant remember can you? See i grew up in the 80's where being gay was only just coming into the mainstream and frankly the people that came after me had even more tolerance in their side. I look forward to the day when my niece and nephew say something like "oh look theres Brians dads. Aww arnt they cute together" because that's where its all headed. And i know im sure some of you wil say thats a rather rose tinted view but frankly I honestly think that's where its headed.
Why has this come up? well i saw a picture recently of an older guy , in his 80's say and he was hlding a sign saying "gay for 80 years and proud of it" or something. and it being the interwebs there were many...MANY comment underneath it. Some were funny, other encouraging other still didn't give a crap but there were some that were still very negative.Now i am not and never will be the person who says my opnions are right and every one else is wrong but disliking someone for being gay is like disliking someone for having red hair or glasses. Its just part of what makes them who they are.
I think the problem is that most gay people come to associate there identity with their sexuality simly because some people have such a opposing view point of it. And who hear amoung us has not wanted to be different at some point. No im serious, everyone reading this has at some point wanted to NOT be one of the sheep. youve died your hair, or got a piercing or started wearing superhero t shirts when ur in your 30's....or whatever...coff.
aaanyway. what im trying to say is that it so shouldn't matter that i should delete this whole thing!! noone cares anymore! being gay is no longer an issue or shouldn't be and and i think that is something to celebrate.
Going back to the beginning here. I dont know what its like to be gay, or what its like to be judged for loving the peope you love but i do know what its like to be viewed as different.
So thats my two sence on it. Gnight and listen to your uncle chris, dont drink and blog. its not good for you
What I wanted to talk about today is something a little different from the norm because usually when something pops into the empty abyss that is my skull it is because it is something that i know something about or have personally experienced but today I want to talk about being gay.
Like most gay people I knew right from the start what I looked for in a partner however because I'm straight It was an easy thing. I never had to sit my parents down, look them straight in the eye and say " mom dad I like bewbs".
Frankly in this day and age the fact that being gay is still an issue frankly annoys the crap out of me. When was the last time you actually talked to someone actually cared wither or not you were gay, straight or even a star trek fan?? You cant remember can you? See i grew up in the 80's where being gay was only just coming into the mainstream and frankly the people that came after me had even more tolerance in their side. I look forward to the day when my niece and nephew say something like "oh look theres Brians dads. Aww arnt they cute together" because that's where its all headed. And i know im sure some of you wil say thats a rather rose tinted view but frankly I honestly think that's where its headed.
Why has this come up? well i saw a picture recently of an older guy , in his 80's say and he was hlding a sign saying "gay for 80 years and proud of it" or something. and it being the interwebs there were many...MANY comment underneath it. Some were funny, other encouraging other still didn't give a crap but there were some that were still very negative.Now i am not and never will be the person who says my opnions are right and every one else is wrong but disliking someone for being gay is like disliking someone for having red hair or glasses. Its just part of what makes them who they are.
I think the problem is that most gay people come to associate there identity with their sexuality simly because some people have such a opposing view point of it. And who hear amoung us has not wanted to be different at some point. No im serious, everyone reading this has at some point wanted to NOT be one of the sheep. youve died your hair, or got a piercing or started wearing superhero t shirts when ur in your 30's....or whatever...coff.
aaanyway. what im trying to say is that it so shouldn't matter that i should delete this whole thing!! noone cares anymore! being gay is no longer an issue or shouldn't be and and i think that is something to celebrate.
Going back to the beginning here. I dont know what its like to be gay, or what its like to be judged for loving the peope you love but i do know what its like to be viewed as different.
So thats my two sence on it. Gnight and listen to your uncle chris, dont drink and blog. its not good for you
Sunday 27 March 2011
Of songs and snapshots
heloooo and welcome to another blog.
Drums fingers on the computer table....
I'm spending allot of time in front of the computer lately. Deep in the middle of essay land, so I decided to take a break from typing to do some typing. Hell later on I might do some writing ¬¬
The hand in date for the essays is the 28th, then on the 30th I've got an exam. Then two more exams and then 2nd year is over.
I literally can't believe 2nd year has finished. This year has been...interesting. Some things happened that I just didn't expect and took me a while to get through. Another birthday came and went and my Dundee birthdays have always been awesome so that's good. There are still some things hanging over my head, finding a new flat and revising for exams are the two main things. I also found myself so broke in February that I had to put myself on rations. However it showed me that I actually don't need to eat as much as I thought I did so that's good to know should I ever find myself in some kind of war situation. Something tells me I wouldn't be needed much at the front line...Heh can you imagine? I'd be guy who fumbled the grenade and blew himself up two weeks out of boot-camp.
So there are two P!nk song in my life right now and if you haven't already I urge you to go check 'em out. They are "Rise your glass" which is just awesome and one song that is guaranteed to get you in a party mood and "Fucking perfect" which ...well it just speaks to me. There is one line in particular which just gets me every time.
So facebook is doing this strange thing at the moment for me. Sometimes when Im on someone else's page it has, on the right hand side, memorable status updates from the past. I've looked and I cant find any way of accessing my own updates in this way. Ive been looking at some one them, some are funny, some sad and some have a lump in your throat pathos because the people who posted those updates are eather no longer the same person or you know that say three weeks after posting such a happy update it all went to hell for them. Its a strange verbal snapshot into lives from years ago that are unique to us. There is no way, unless you keep a diary ( and frankly when have you EVER shown anyone your diary), for people who dont have facebook to know just what was on their mind 2 years ago on a certain day. Its quite sweet really
Well Im off... TO THE COMPUTER!!!!!....ah fuck
Drums fingers on the computer table....
I'm spending allot of time in front of the computer lately. Deep in the middle of essay land, so I decided to take a break from typing to do some typing. Hell later on I might do some writing ¬¬
The hand in date for the essays is the 28th, then on the 30th I've got an exam. Then two more exams and then 2nd year is over.
I literally can't believe 2nd year has finished. This year has been...interesting. Some things happened that I just didn't expect and took me a while to get through. Another birthday came and went and my Dundee birthdays have always been awesome so that's good. There are still some things hanging over my head, finding a new flat and revising for exams are the two main things. I also found myself so broke in February that I had to put myself on rations. However it showed me that I actually don't need to eat as much as I thought I did so that's good to know should I ever find myself in some kind of war situation. Something tells me I wouldn't be needed much at the front line...Heh can you imagine? I'd be guy who fumbled the grenade and blew himself up two weeks out of boot-camp.
" You're so mean, when you talk to yourself, you are wrong. Change the voices in you're head, make them like you instead"Im sure we all have a small voice in you're head that doesn't like...well....anything about you that you give almost anything to silence. The thought has never occurred to me to try and get my voice on my side instead.
So facebook is doing this strange thing at the moment for me. Sometimes when Im on someone else's page it has, on the right hand side, memorable status updates from the past. I've looked and I cant find any way of accessing my own updates in this way. Ive been looking at some one them, some are funny, some sad and some have a lump in your throat pathos because the people who posted those updates are eather no longer the same person or you know that say three weeks after posting such a happy update it all went to hell for them. Its a strange verbal snapshot into lives from years ago that are unique to us. There is no way, unless you keep a diary ( and frankly when have you EVER shown anyone your diary), for people who dont have facebook to know just what was on their mind 2 years ago on a certain day. Its quite sweet really
Saturday 19 March 2011
Women
HIYA!!
So ( insert standard apology for not doing this in ages here)
N.B, I'm going to mention some names here, if the people who's names are mentioned ever read this......meh its my blog and you know id never slag you off or hurt your feelings on purpose.
Women. Where would we be without women? The old saying goes "women, cant live with them cant live without them"
this is true to an extent. I was in a relationship for a long time and I came away with a few strong opinions towards women, however this was not the first impressions of women i ever got. The first woman I ever knew was a girl called Maureen. She was my classmate when I was 4 till I left that school at 11. Now She was a girl who would not heasatate to kick your ass if you said something that she didn't like. When the occasion called for it she would eve inter-seed sometimes when she felt the bulling i received got too much. She taught me that girls are the same as boys except they can kick harder. Even at the age of 5 i knew I had stumbled upon some rare knowledge.
Then there was Flora. She was a girl I knew in high school and had a certain "Sod you" attitude that i appreciated since I have a desperate need for everyone to like me and so i tend to turn the other cheek more than is healthy. She taught me that you don't need to be accepted to be happy, and that in doing so , you become happy because you are being true to yourself.
When I went to college I met a woman called Karin and we dated for ten years. Karin was a very special mix of vunability underneath a layer of solid rock. She would do anything for you, go out of her way to help. But cross her and she would fry you alive with her laser vision. She was awesome. She taught me that if you have the love of someone like that you were untouchable.
So you see my life has been populated by strong women who fight for what they beleave in. some for love, others for friendship and some still who fight just cause they enjoy it. The point is that I have been shaped by these people and made me the man I am today because of their attitudes.
Today I am surrounded by many women( you know who you are) who wont take you shit. i in fact seem to attract these people to my life, I have no time for the " I broke a nail, carry me to the car these are $550 shoes" crowd. For me a woman is strong, independent, wont take your shit but will help you when you need it and give you a skelp round the lug when you need that too.
In closing, I humbly suggest you turn to whatever strong woman is in your life and think how lucky you are to have someone who wont bullshit you. And if its the woman who shares you bed?? Even better
So ( insert standard apology for not doing this in ages here)
N.B, I'm going to mention some names here, if the people who's names are mentioned ever read this......meh its my blog and you know id never slag you off or hurt your feelings on purpose.
Women. Where would we be without women? The old saying goes "women, cant live with them cant live without them"
this is true to an extent. I was in a relationship for a long time and I came away with a few strong opinions towards women, however this was not the first impressions of women i ever got. The first woman I ever knew was a girl called Maureen. She was my classmate when I was 4 till I left that school at 11. Now She was a girl who would not heasatate to kick your ass if you said something that she didn't like. When the occasion called for it she would eve inter-seed sometimes when she felt the bulling i received got too much. She taught me that girls are the same as boys except they can kick harder. Even at the age of 5 i knew I had stumbled upon some rare knowledge.
Then there was Flora. She was a girl I knew in high school and had a certain "Sod you" attitude that i appreciated since I have a desperate need for everyone to like me and so i tend to turn the other cheek more than is healthy. She taught me that you don't need to be accepted to be happy, and that in doing so , you become happy because you are being true to yourself.
When I went to college I met a woman called Karin and we dated for ten years. Karin was a very special mix of vunability underneath a layer of solid rock. She would do anything for you, go out of her way to help. But cross her and she would fry you alive with her laser vision. She was awesome. She taught me that if you have the love of someone like that you were untouchable.
So you see my life has been populated by strong women who fight for what they beleave in. some for love, others for friendship and some still who fight just cause they enjoy it. The point is that I have been shaped by these people and made me the man I am today because of their attitudes.
Today I am surrounded by many women( you know who you are) who wont take you shit. i in fact seem to attract these people to my life, I have no time for the " I broke a nail, carry me to the car these are $550 shoes" crowd. For me a woman is strong, independent, wont take your shit but will help you when you need it and give you a skelp round the lug when you need that too.
In closing, I humbly suggest you turn to whatever strong woman is in your life and think how lucky you are to have someone who wont bullshit you. And if its the woman who shares you bed?? Even better
Tuesday 8 February 2011
A really foul time of year....no foul as in a type of mood its got nothing to do with birds...ah forget it
So!!! Did ya miss me
You know I read somewhere that this is the most depressing time of year. Christmas and new year have come and gone, summer is so far away and valentines day is coming up. And frankly not all of us are in a committed relationship with our right hand ( that said an astonishing trend has started with people around me getting engaged left and right) I mention this because today everyone around me had come down with a major case of grump.
I too have fallen ill with this debilitating disease and so I decided to come home and brush off the old blog.
I wondered first off if i should be ranty or angry, or even if i should start with my standard apology that i give every time im away from blogging but i decided not to. Instead i think ill go with my tried and tested ramble crap till its funny stick i do so well.
Recently as im sure everyone must be aware right now im on a diet, which is going well thankyou for asking, but its gotten to a dangerous stage. I've done well enough that a tiny voice in my head is whispering that one cheeseburger wont hurt. This is bad. Its happened before. It starts with one chippy and suddenly helllooooo chins.
So none of that. However today for example I had a bowl of cereal, a chicken sammich an apple , three or four bottles of water and dinner is chicken noodle soup ( i have chicken to use up im being a frugal student lemmie alone ). So why am I still hungry?? Perhaps i have that disease that means you're always hungry.... what's it called?? uh...fatbasterdites i think aaanyway. My local shop just opened a small take out joint inside it, sorta like a low rent version of KFC. This is bad. See now why cant a health food shop open nearby? Well ill tell u why. have you ever been inside of one of those places? No of course you haven't , only people mad from hunger and too much excersise go in those kinda places and lemmie tell you. What they think is a healthy alternative to cheeseburgers?? bird seed.
Now i wanna stay healthy but if all they can offer me is seeds then they can stick it up their shakras. I mean come on if your going to compete then you have to have an alternative that isn't also eaten by things with beaks and feathers ( you know the people from Britains next top model tv show)
For me the real badness happens when you add a bad food to a food that's already bad.
Burger with chips= bad
cheeseburger with chips= really bad
bacon sammich= bad
bacon sammich with cheese= youd better leave the room you dont want to watch this......
What was I talking about? Well im sitting in-front of a computer so im guessing an essay..
The unification of Germany happened in 1870....no wait thats wrong.
Wow total meltdown just cos i mentioned a bacon and cheese sammich......ah bollocks
Aaaaanny way im seeing a pattern there. Perhaps the way forward is to add cheese to things.
Money is another issue for everyone atm. ( HAH!! atm...hehehehe, shut up I make my own fun)
It seems as soon as we get it it all goes away again. So im gonna have to think of alternatives to going out and having fun. And there is only so much staying and having fun on you own you can do before you start to chafe, so fun activities in a group that cost nothing.....Hrm...Monopoly? No always ends up as a game of cludo, you know the killer is..your mate bob, in the kitchen, with an empty bottle of bud. Cards? no no money for booze so no drinking games....you can use cards for non drinking games?? sounds a bit suspicious to me.
Actually do homework and hand it in on time? Aaaahhahahahahahhahahhahahaha
Errrrmmm, read? bit anti social...blimey this is hard...Play COD? nah ive already had one anurism today thankyou
Ok ive got it. Next time your in a bit of a foul mood. Invite a mate round to your house, watch some shite telly together and remember why your mates in the first place.
And if that fails give me a call, Im always ready to listen.
Wow ok fingers tired so this is done for now. Stay smiling
Tffn
You know I read somewhere that this is the most depressing time of year. Christmas and new year have come and gone, summer is so far away and valentines day is coming up. And frankly not all of us are in a committed relationship with our right hand ( that said an astonishing trend has started with people around me getting engaged left and right) I mention this because today everyone around me had come down with a major case of grump.
I too have fallen ill with this debilitating disease and so I decided to come home and brush off the old blog.
I wondered first off if i should be ranty or angry, or even if i should start with my standard apology that i give every time im away from blogging but i decided not to. Instead i think ill go with my tried and tested ramble crap till its funny stick i do so well.
Recently as im sure everyone must be aware right now im on a diet, which is going well thankyou for asking, but its gotten to a dangerous stage. I've done well enough that a tiny voice in my head is whispering that one cheeseburger wont hurt. This is bad. Its happened before. It starts with one chippy and suddenly helllooooo chins.
So none of that. However today for example I had a bowl of cereal, a chicken sammich an apple , three or four bottles of water and dinner is chicken noodle soup ( i have chicken to use up im being a frugal student lemmie alone ). So why am I still hungry?? Perhaps i have that disease that means you're always hungry.... what's it called?? uh...fatbasterdites i think aaanyway. My local shop just opened a small take out joint inside it, sorta like a low rent version of KFC. This is bad. See now why cant a health food shop open nearby? Well ill tell u why. have you ever been inside of one of those places? No of course you haven't , only people mad from hunger and too much excersise go in those kinda places and lemmie tell you. What they think is a healthy alternative to cheeseburgers?? bird seed.
Now i wanna stay healthy but if all they can offer me is seeds then they can stick it up their shakras. I mean come on if your going to compete then you have to have an alternative that isn't also eaten by things with beaks and feathers ( you know the people from Britains next top model tv show)
For me the real badness happens when you add a bad food to a food that's already bad.
Burger with chips= bad
cheeseburger with chips= really bad
bacon sammich= bad
bacon sammich with cheese= youd better leave the room you dont want to watch this......
What was I talking about? Well im sitting in-front of a computer so im guessing an essay..
The unification of Germany happened in 1870....no wait thats wrong.
Wow total meltdown just cos i mentioned a bacon and cheese sammich......ah bollocks
Aaaaanny way im seeing a pattern there. Perhaps the way forward is to add cheese to things.
Money is another issue for everyone atm. ( HAH!! atm...hehehehe, shut up I make my own fun)
It seems as soon as we get it it all goes away again. So im gonna have to think of alternatives to going out and having fun. And there is only so much staying and having fun on you own you can do before you start to chafe, so fun activities in a group that cost nothing.....Hrm...Monopoly? No always ends up as a game of cludo, you know the killer is..your mate bob, in the kitchen, with an empty bottle of bud. Cards? no no money for booze so no drinking games....you can use cards for non drinking games?? sounds a bit suspicious to me.
Actually do homework and hand it in on time? Aaaahhahahahahahhahahhahahaha
Errrrmmm, read? bit anti social...blimey this is hard...Play COD? nah ive already had one anurism today thankyou
Ok ive got it. Next time your in a bit of a foul mood. Invite a mate round to your house, watch some shite telly together and remember why your mates in the first place.
And if that fails give me a call, Im always ready to listen.
Wow ok fingers tired so this is done for now. Stay smiling
Tffn
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