Tuesday 8 February 2011

A really foul time of year....no foul as in a type of mood its got nothing to do with birds...ah forget it

So!!! Did ya miss me
You know I read somewhere that this is the most depressing time of year. Christmas and new year have come and gone, summer is so far away and valentines day is coming up. And frankly not all of us are in a committed relationship with our right hand ( that said an astonishing trend has started with people around me getting engaged left and right) I mention this because today everyone around me had come down with a major case of grump.
I too have fallen ill with this debilitating disease and so I decided to come home and brush off the old blog.
I wondered first off if i should be ranty or angry, or even if i should start with my standard apology that i give every time im away from blogging but i decided not to. Instead i think ill go with my tried and tested ramble crap till its funny stick i do so well.

Recently as im sure everyone must be aware right now im on a diet, which is going well thankyou for asking, but its gotten to a dangerous stage. I've done well enough that a tiny voice in my head is whispering that one cheeseburger wont hurt. This is bad. Its happened before. It starts with one chippy and suddenly helllooooo chins.
So none of that. However today for example I had a bowl of cereal, a chicken sammich an apple , three or four bottles of water and dinner is chicken noodle soup ( i have chicken to use up im being  a frugal student lemmie alone ). So why am I still hungry?? Perhaps i have that disease that means you're always hungry.... what's it called?? uh...fatbasterdites i think aaanyway. My local shop just opened a small take out joint inside it, sorta like a low rent version of KFC. This is bad. See now why cant a health food shop open nearby? Well ill tell u why. have you ever been inside of one of those places? No of course you haven't , only people mad from hunger and too much excersise go in those kinda places and lemmie tell you. What they think is a healthy alternative to cheeseburgers?? bird seed.
Now i wanna stay healthy but if all they can offer me is seeds then they can stick it up their shakras. I mean come on if your going to compete then you have to have an alternative that isn't also eaten by things with beaks and feathers ( you know the people from Britains next top model tv show)
For me the real badness happens when you add a bad food to a food that's already bad.
Burger with chips= bad
cheeseburger with chips= really bad
bacon sammich= bad
bacon sammich with cheese= youd better leave the room you dont want to watch this......
What was I talking about? Well im sitting in-front of a computer so im guessing an essay..
The unification of Germany happened in 1870....no wait thats wrong.
Wow total meltdown just cos i mentioned a bacon and cheese sammich......ah bollocks

Aaaaanny way im seeing a pattern there. Perhaps the way forward is to add cheese to things.

Money is another issue for everyone atm. ( HAH!! atm...hehehehe, shut up I make my own fun)
It seems as soon as we get it it all goes away again. So im gonna have to think of alternatives to going out and having fun. And there is only so much staying and having fun on you own you can do before you start to chafe, so fun activities in a group that cost nothing.....Hrm...Monopoly? No always ends up as a game of cludo, you know  the killer is..your mate bob, in the kitchen, with an empty bottle of bud. Cards? no no money for booze so no drinking games....you can use cards for non drinking games?? sounds a bit suspicious to me.
Actually do homework  and hand it in on time? Aaaahhahahahahahhahahhahahaha
Errrrmmm, read? bit anti social...blimey this is hard...Play COD? nah ive already had one anurism today thankyou
Ok ive got it. Next time your in a bit of a foul mood. Invite a mate round to your house, watch some shite telly together and remember why your mates in the first place.
And if that fails give me a call, Im always ready to listen.

Wow ok fingers tired so this is done for now. Stay smiling
Tffn

2 comments:

  1. Haha yeah ok you were right, this cheered me up :)
    and yay for the no bird seed eating!

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  2. my personal favourate is "For me the real badness happens when you add a bad food to a food that's already bad." this coming from a guy who wants to be a writer?, oh dear oh dear oh dear

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