So this is seriously ill advised.
I'm doing one of these half cut. Don't worry there will be no weeping or secret confessions etc...
If you read this and see its gone in the momrning then i apologise as im too cowardly to keep it up.
OK so I suffer from low self esteem. I do and I can't shake it. Is it a tiresome thing where I was bullied? or I was predisposed to it because I'm not...classically good looking? Is just a pathetic short, fat guy thing? is it that easy and obvious?? Wow that kinda sucks, id hate to think that im that predictable.
I dont even realise if thats a ral thought or if its just a feel shit about my self thought
I can actually equate that to my dyslexia, bare with me, when i see a word thats misspelt I know its wrong. I read enough to know that its wrong but I can't fix it. The soloution is right there in my head but I cant figure it out. The same is true with the self esteem thing. i hear people say nice things about me, intelecually i can see there point but i just dont beleave it. i dont think they are lieing but i just dont buy it.
Tell me this though do you ever really take a compliment...anyone!
Yeaaah didnt think so.
I would love to focus on my positives, honestly, but i dont see it heppenning. Does this make me a chore? im....nice in a goofy way. cute, not hansome I'll go as far as cute. im alway there for people i genuinly want to help.
Im not ugly exaclty just not the norm.... i knew this was a mistake
Look all this has a purpose im not just being weird (although that is my thing) I wanted to ask everyone. Do you ever feel like this? like you dont really deserve the hapyness you get. if you dont then I should probibly talk to a professional.
Im ...just ..sick of feeling like i dont matter, im so sorry to burden you? with this. you know the worst part?? im nevrer actaully gonna eleave even if its signed by the lady herself that i can change this about me, am i destined to feel like an asshole forever....
Yeah this is so getting delited tommoro, sorry everyone
everyone feels like this, because it is so much easier to believe the bad things that people say about us than to believe the good. And if those bad things are said too much, thats when we end up taking on that view ourselves and sometimes that views just too difficult to defeat. looks aren't everything, i'd rather go out with a guy who could treat me right and make me laugh and feel special than some hot guy who'd treat me like shit, looks only give us the first thing to look at, and if we judge on them, who knows the opportunity we could be missing. No-one can make you believe in yourself, but if you don't start loving yourself, who else can? Just keep being yourself and don't give in, the rest will follow.
ReplyDeleteoh boy ok well lesson learned I guess.
ReplyDeleteBrokenrose, thanks for that Ive already said thankyou but Im doing it again. Today's will have some jokes in I PROMISE
I have to agree. But I think what one has to consider is WHY it's so much easier to accept an insult than a compliment.
ReplyDeleteBecause most people hold close the 'bad parts' of themselves - they tend to think about those parts more than the good parts - then when someone says something bad, it's just a confirmation of what you already 'know'.
And most people have been programmed over the years to be modest. Even if you know you're a good writer, or excellent at pub quizzes, or have an amazing arse, it's been trained into us to never say so, and even to laughingly deny it if someone mentions that facet of us.
I've spent the last 15-20 years feeling like that, and I've just recently consciously decided to give it up. Because I realised that I have spent so much time disliking myself when I could have been having fun!
I know it's not easy, but it's worth it. Fuck those who don't like you (not literally, obviously. That would be bad.), because they wouldn't like you even if you changed, and they're not worth your time.
Flora
x
Well said Flora, well I really must get drunk and type random crap more often this has been a boost :)
ReplyDelete