A diet rant of epic proportions

SO
bloody dieting
makes me grumpy...and ranty
You know what the main problem is? every website tell u differant crap. This is bad no good no bad!. eat cerial but for gods sake dont eat cerial. fruit is good but only between the hours of 12 and 4....eat after 7 and u may as well kill yourself!!
I figured some fruit in the morning would be good, light lunch and proper dinner. WRONG
According to (some) websites thats the worst thing. Eat a big healthy breakfast, medium lunch and smaller dinner. no carbs, before 7. 
NO carbs! every meal i know involves carbs, chips, rice, pasta some veg has carbs in it. OH yeah thats right veg is bad for you now too!
So today's food of an apple a healthy salad wrap and a stir fry?? Well why don't I just eat lard instead it would be better for me. Its like im eating poison.!
Ok a  quick google search for "healthy breakfast"
options 1. muslie, hmmmm dried cardboard cut up reeeealy tiny or weetabix which is the same thing but spin into a brick that poor countries use to makes houses with
2.fresh fruit salad, so one bit of fruit baaaaad lots of expensive  fruit stuff in a bowl goooooood 
3. scrambled tofu..........What the F%^$ing B$*%&$ they can stuck it up there *%&)*%&$ holes  untill &$(*%*(&$ (&%*&$  (%(*&£$ hair falls out!!
4.fruit smoothie, expensive stuff mixed with milk and blended to crap
5.boiled eggs and toast.... what's this doing on the list??? eggs are bad arn't they? or are they good this week
See this brings me back to the whole no one can decide whats good. No one gives a shit about anyone loosing weight because then their latest book "are you still buying this crap?" wont sell soo they keep us scared


avoid Pancakes, waffles, toast, donuts, pastries, scones, bagels, pies, sugar cereals, breakfast bars, muffins, now who in the name of spiderman eats bloody donuts fer breakfast? no wonder they need two mirrors to wash their balls.


And thats just BREAKFAST a veritable mine field of things to be avoided. 
Lunch?? riveta...things on , in, combined with dry husks of bat guano
or alternatively

The night before: pop chopped courgette, pepper, mushrooms and strips of chicken breast into a roasting tin.

Lightly brush with olive oil, paprika and ground chilli and put in the oven on a low heat until the chicken is well cooked and veg is tender.

In the morning: pack into a plastic container and take to work with a tortilla wrap and a handful of ready-washed salad leaves.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAaaaaaaaa

moving on

a sandwich? don't be daft more carbs see, salad, no unless you make it yourself most salads bought from supermarkets contain more calories than a big mac and fries ( thats actually true)

OK, ok I've gotten that out of my system...i guess but the point still stands that this is going to be a lot harder if im going to stick with it than I thought.

I'm gonna head and drink some water... that's still fine right?

P.S You may have noticed ive changed my habit of "It's a .... thing" well its getting harder to remember which ones ive used and I'll eventually run out soooo doing something differant now. enjoy, ttfn

It's a fanboy thing

So I was reading that the new guy they have got to play spiderman in the 1211 movie...sorry remake....sorry sorry re-imagining ¬¬ is called Andrew Garfield, yeah I don't knw who he is eather.
I checked him out on IMDB and hes had a few TV appearances, he's in the facebook movie and another one out this year called "never let me go" which ive never heard of. Now before you roll your eyes and think "ah jeeze the ubergeek is gonna spew rant sauce all over his key bord" let me assure you im not. What I am going to say is that it always stricked me how crazy people get when something like this is re-cast. It's nuts, when Heath Ledge was cast as the joker they went batshit, no one will ever replace Jack Nicolous!! he's the joker now some aussie surfer type. When they origionally cast Toby Maguire they said "what the cider house rules guy?? Im going to SUE!!"
This isnt confined to movies eather, artists and writers change all the time in the comics. It can completely change the whole look and feel of the characters if the artist changed and the little fan boys go berserk.
Even I'm guilty of this ( and we all know how reasonalbe I am most of the time....coff) when they announced the new doctor who was some cretin with no previous experiance, whoes younger than me, called Matt Smith I ranted at anyone who would listen that it was a travist of justic and that I for one would not be watching.
Result? I think he's actually very suited to the role and once he gets some decent storylines it'll be an awesome show.
Back to Mr. Garfield, we will just have to wait and see, I'll be wathcing the film regardless of what people say about it because I love spidy and watch anything he's in.
That said there is no excuse for letting Nic cage be ghost rider never mind giving him a FUCKING sequal......coff
Anyway...worst pice of casting youve ever seen in a film?
Mine , apart from Sean Connery as anything other than a scot...and he's played russians, spanyards and egyptions, would have to be the old clecie of George Clooney as batman.
Cloony's a good actor if all you want him to so is give a slight smile and talk in a weird half whisper, i mean come ON what were they thinking, if batman came out of the shadows and gave you a little smirk and said hi so quietly you went sure if you'd herd him ive been more meniced by a tub of play doe. It seems almost dliberatly miscast like they WANTED the movie to fail . I ask you what the FU..........

(Chris has been lead away by kind people and given a sedative-Ed)

It's a tradition thing

So something just popped into my head
Its so weird how things that happened long ago, adjust and then become the things we know now. Example, we burn a big bonfire at this time and put a straw man on top. What if he was sick that day? better yet if he was run over by a horse. What would be do on November 5th? would we all gather round the traditional november 5th chocolate cake instead?? or or Christmas, what if the man of the house would have to curve the watermelon every year cos it was tradition. If instead of a pagan renewal ritual of bringing in greenery into the house which became "putting up the Christmas tree" what if it was tradition to have a celebration of the wildlife. Every year you'd have to keep a pig in the house for 10 days.
What if Jebus didn't rise after three days and the pagans thought the having a rabbit at spring time was a daft idea and that a crow was a better animal? We wouldn't have Easter, there would be the tradition of dressing up in black, lots of eye-liner and we would eat grapes in place of eyeballs ( crow favourite food).
And once you start to think about it the whole thing unravels before your eyes. what if there was no worship of the moon?.  Monday (started as "Moonday or 'the moons day'" wouln't exist. Id be called something else, what if people felt that Hermes, messenger of the gods, would be a more appropriate Deity to lend his name too the first day of the week. Id go Hermeday, tuesday...etc. In fact if Oden had not lent his name to Wednesday then there's be no Wednesday. What if we called it Dionysus after the god or wine??? Id be Dionoday instead. What if Thor wasn't there?? no Thursday
Ok Ive gotten fixated on the day of the week thing.  




Anyway so....yeah, right just think about that when you're out tonight watching the fireworks because lets face it you could have just as easily been sitting down to the traditional face painting and twister that you do every year at this time




.....why are you all looking at me like that?

It's a muse thing

So today I want to go a little off topic (don't you always-Ed) and talk about something close to my heart...my lungs (couldn't have stopped myself for a big bag of skittles). I want to talk about writing (again??) OK enough brackets (o.O).
Specifically the concept of the Muse.In ancient Greece these Goddesses would whisper in your ear and inspire you to great creative heights. They are traditionally depicted as beautiful women, usually holding musical instruments or the "masks" of drama.
When I mentioned Muses those of you who knew what they were most likely thought of twinkling fairy light like tinkerbell.
When most writers are asked they usually talk of thinking about something completely different when inspiration suddenly hits. That , for want of a better word, I a Muse. Now I want to be clear I don't actually think this person is real, Im not delusional.
Mines not like that.
She doesn't say much for a start, and frankly she's quite impatient with me allot of the time. She also likes to tell me things when Im miles away from paper and pen. Actually this happens allot to me. My brain will tell me ive forgotten something when Im at the front door but wont tell what that thing is.
ME: Just tell me, I'll read something really intellectual for you later.
BRAIN: No. Besides reading about spiderman online is not "intellectual"
Then about an hour later, or whenever I'm at the cash register, he'll wait until im one from the front and whisper
"You don't have you wallet"
Such is life......what was I talking about, oh yeah Muses.
Thinking about Muses, in turn makes me think of the fact that we aren't really one person but lots. Seriously are you the same person with you parents as with your friends?
"Oi, Ma!! pass them MOFO potatoes willya, im fecking parched gaspin over here"
Mu Huh....
 SO Muses, you know if you don't stop interrupting me I'll never get done.
Your job , when writing, is to show up at the same time every day and write, regardless of how inspired you feel. The Muse will descend when she's good and ready. That way she can find you easily should she deign to join you.

So I should probably go back to studying now but before I do, do us a favour and put the link for the blog on your facebook channels too. That way friends of friends get to see the ramblings.
Probably don't show them the two drunk ones first though eh
ttfn

It's a like thing

So, I have talked allot about stress and all the bad that's going on. Time for some good.
There is stuff in my life is good, friends, family, the work im doing. and there is stuff I have that de-stresses me when the bad stuff happens.....stuff
I like stepping out of the shower on a cold day and look at the steam coming off me and pretend that im the human torch, I like an ice cold beer on a warm day, I like playing with lego, I like a really satisfying steak with a backed potato on the side with just a knob of butter for garnish.
I lie taking long walks on a chilly autumn day where i can kick the frost tipped leaves up in the air as I go. I like to  crack every knuckle. I like a reaaaaaly good stretch. I like waking up to naked women in my bed. I like it when I walk into the room and someone in it had a smile for me. I like ice in my glass.  I like the satisfying crunch my shoes make on fresh snow. I like stationary. I like the feeling you get when you hand in a peace of work that's your best. I like shooting the shit with my brothers. I like when someone phones out of the blue just to see how im doing. I like to receive a handwritten letter from someone. I like it when you catch a girl staring at you and the blush she gets when she realises. I like superhero's. I like the sea. I like swimming. I like to dance like no one else is watching. I like a jack Daniels and coke, lotsa ice. I like books. I like the feeling you get when something new is starting. I like a good cry.

I like the feeling that every day is new , that everything is possible, that the next day could be the day where it all changes for the better.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xfq_A8nXMsQ


What do you like?

It's a writing thing

So here I sit between class, having the time and the inclination to write but no real inspiration. I decided therefore to come over here and type nonsense for a bit hopefully that will get me going.
I do love writing but sometimes when you are looking at that mocking white page with the little icon thing flashing back and forth , which in my head in my darker moments  is saying "no talent no talent no talent" in time with the blinks.....damn what is the little flashy thing called..its not icon, what is it?
TO GOOGLE!!
OK its called a caret.
Now I can move on with my life.
Anyway so the caret is flashing away and bugging me and the page is still maddeningly blank. Steven King once said "writing is easy all you have to do is stare at the blank page until your forehead bleeds" I know what he's talking about. Still any bad day of writing is better than any good day with out it so I persevere.
When I was younger worked in shops I used to write ideas for stories on the back of till receipts. Id hit the "feed" button and reams of white paper would spit out and id write in tiny writing. Sometimes I could fit a  whole story on there if it was a quiet enough day. Then later I wrote long hand in old jotter books. I like writing long hand actually, typing has a pain sometimes because it can slow you down if you start making mistakes but the same problem with a twist happens writing with pen. I get excited about what I'm writing and my writing becomes intelligible even to me later. So the detail gets lost.
King says you should write ever day, including your birthdays, Christmas and new years. Frankly he makes a good point as he owns two houses and has more money than Midus. Do I write every day? Technically yes. I have this blog, i write thoughts down but I certainly don't write full blown fiction every day. Perhaps I should? Ah but that might take me away from my studies. But then allot of writers have gotten where they are today by burning the candle at both ends. Most started with full  time jobs. King worked washing laundry, and was a teacher of English when his first book "carrie" was sold. He didn't quit his job right away either. It was only when his third book "The shineing" went on sale that he made that move.
Inciently I've just noticed I put both book titles in italics like you have to do in an essay.....sigh its rotted my brain.
In third year for English one of my options is a creative writing module, I'd have to be  a fool to pas sup the chance to learn from professionals. Apparently all you have to do is submit a peace of work to them and they allow you in based on that. It also means I can get a gage on whither I'm any good or not. If I'm going to do that of course I should probably be more dedicated and start writing every day....hmmmm
Well Ive got to go as I have a sudden urge to go write
OK favourite author? pace of prose or poetry??
Ive got too many to talk about but I will leave you with a peace of Terry Prattchett
"In the beginning there was nothing. Which exploded"
hehehehehehe

It's a stress thing

So tell me this, does this look like the pen lid of someone who has it all in hand? No this pen looks like it belongs to Tim Burton. Of course if it really belonged to Tim Burton then Jonny Depp would be sitting on top of it.
I noticed the serious problem my pen was having (see I chew pen lids if im stressed) during my film leacure today, this means that I didn't really pay attention to the lecture. (which was really good cos it was about invasion of the body snatchers) so im sorry I missed it.
Im sorry I just realised how deathly dull this is....
Seriously you sit down with you cup of tea/bottle of beer/tall glass with a dash of rum, milk and ice whatever. And your Oreo cookie.... there's no other options if you don't like Oreo cookies then there's no hope for you. And load up blogger to view your daily slice of odd and suddenly.......pen lid.
Aaaanyway As the pen lid can testify things are stressful right now essays are handed in but now I have to deal with the massive back log of stuff ive missed out on doing owing to essays.
Hopefully this will be the last mention of essays for a while Im sick of typing it. Frankly however thats all that going on in my life right now. Today I over head someone talking about studying for their exams, which in 4 or 5 weeks. I mean yeah be prepared OK but is there any need to scare the bee jebus outa me?
The movie for facebook is coming out soon..... I'm not sure how I feel about this. I mean if were going to go down this road why not have a movie about youtube?
Nic Cage IS the troll. a guy who will go to any lengths to hack people off by making obviously inflammatory comments just to annoy folk.
Or a movie about blogger?
Silverster Stallone IS blogboy34, he mainly talks about his kids with the implications that he is the first person to ever go through 3am feedings.
Just a thought....
So im stressed because when I finish up here I have to go watch two films (cos i missed the leacture) each two hours long for class tomorrow at 9am. I mean normally I'd sit here and watch movies but these are for claaaaass man !!!

Favourite movie you would like to see based on a website?
Mine would be iambored.com. I'd be differant you've got to admit and the title alone would be a draw.
I have to go watch black and white movies till I fall asleep at the keyboard.