I need to fart....I'm serious, I'm in the library, doing studying,(well obviously not now I'm taking a break, jeeze) and i need to fart. If I get up one more time to do it in the bathroom the girls to my right here are going to think I have some kind of problem. I could go over by the printer I guess but I tryed that once and farted on a very quiet ninja type who stealthed up to me to print something and I didn't hear him. This wouldn't happen If I was just an asshole Id just fart, but then the fire alarm would go off...sigh.
So anyway I was looking at some other blogs last night, just trying to pass the time and it struck me they all have something I lack. Kids. That's right 98% (figure may be made up) of the blogs I encountered were about someones kids. Not that there's anything wrong with that of course, and you know...well done for having wains but I just expected More variety. Perhaps I should go get some to make the blog complete, naaahhh I don't have time to be arrested Ive got essays due.
Gawd damn that reminds me. Film studies essay due Monday, two essays in two weeks. Why do you hate me fate....is this about the noodle incident?? that was never proved
I'm also reading all about Shakespeare and his sonnets. Apparently he was gay. Or at least bi sexual. "May I compare thee to summers day"...written about a bloke.
I wonder how our lives would have been shaped if the majority were gay? how would that go??
"Frankly Steven I dont give a damn"
"The Godmother"
"Mr. Robinson are you trying to seduce me?"
"The adventures of Superwomen and Lois Lane"
Meh the same really oh well :).
The quiet mood continues, I'm almost sure my flatmates think I'm pissed off about something
Books, Shakespeare sonnets, Dr. bloody Faustus (still)
P.S Blogger has such words as "Faustus" "Gawd" and "Shakespeare" in its dictionary database but not the words "blogger" or "blog".
The world is a nutty place, just ask any squirrel
Wednesday, 6 October 2010
Tuesday, 5 October 2010
It's an intelligence thing
_._. .... ._. .. ... , human torch, Dr. Faustis, Discovered the new world
In incomprehensible series of non related gibberish you might think, but not so. Everything in the above line is related. I watched a program some time ago about idiot savants. People who are able to do pie to 500 digits in their head or copy a Rembrandt but are incapable of looking after themselves. These poor individuals are a genetic accident, unfortunate souls who cannot understand the world around them but understands everything else.
The line at the top? Yes Im getting there.
One guy in particular stood out, with an IQ not really measurable every time he thinks of something a torrent of information related to that thought pores out of his mouth and he's unable to stop himself. Ask him where he lives? Bowler Avenue. Bowlers play a game that comes in many different forms, including ten pin, nine pin, five pin or Duck pin. The common duck (family Anatidae) are a breed of aquatic birds that can be found on both fresh or salt water, salt (NaCl) is one of the oldest preservatives known to man the world Salary is derived from it. AAAaaand so on ( had to stop there it was oddly hypnotic, try it yourself if your bored :D)
So you see although he is able to memorise and process the information he doesn't fully understand it.
Thats not my problem, My problem is my brain is just a cluttered place. I'm no idiot savant Im just....ditzy. Is there a male version of Ditzy?? Answers on a postcard too....
I have a similar issue to our friend who lives on bowler Avenue, when something pops into my head a bunch other related, but useless, information pops in there too.
He'rs an example taken from a lecture this week when we were talking about explorers during the Renaissance .
Lecturer: So as you can see Columbus.....
Me now thinking : Didn't the animanicas do a song about him. No wait im thinking of Magellan they did a song about him. And the 50 states in America...wait 50?? 51?? No its gotta be 50 because there was that film with Ewan McGregor in it called the "fifty first state" which means us. Would it be so bad to be American? Well I wouldn't mind but It wouldn't be a good idea for Britain. Why is everyone leaving?? Ohshit the class is finished. Wait is it English next? What day is it? AAAaaaannnnd so on.
So really im just a high IQ away from being an Idiot savant...Wait does that just me an idiot???......Balls
Books Im reading, Steven King still and Dr. Faustis for class
....Oh you wanted me to tell you what the stuff at the top has in common??? See how many you get yourself :)
In incomprehensible series of non related gibberish you might think, but not so. Everything in the above line is related. I watched a program some time ago about idiot savants. People who are able to do pie to 500 digits in their head or copy a Rembrandt but are incapable of looking after themselves. These poor individuals are a genetic accident, unfortunate souls who cannot understand the world around them but understands everything else.
The line at the top? Yes Im getting there.
One guy in particular stood out, with an IQ not really measurable every time he thinks of something a torrent of information related to that thought pores out of his mouth and he's unable to stop himself. Ask him where he lives? Bowler Avenue. Bowlers play a game that comes in many different forms, including ten pin, nine pin, five pin or Duck pin. The common duck (family Anatidae) are a breed of aquatic birds that can be found on both fresh or salt water, salt (NaCl) is one of the oldest preservatives known to man the world Salary is derived from it. AAAaaand so on ( had to stop there it was oddly hypnotic, try it yourself if your bored :D)
So you see although he is able to memorise and process the information he doesn't fully understand it.
Thats not my problem, My problem is my brain is just a cluttered place. I'm no idiot savant Im just....ditzy. Is there a male version of Ditzy?? Answers on a postcard too....
I have a similar issue to our friend who lives on bowler Avenue, when something pops into my head a bunch other related, but useless, information pops in there too.
He'rs an example taken from a lecture this week when we were talking about explorers during the Renaissance .
Lecturer: So as you can see Columbus.....
Me now thinking : Didn't the animanicas do a song about him. No wait im thinking of Magellan they did a song about him. And the 50 states in America...wait 50?? 51?? No its gotta be 50 because there was that film with Ewan McGregor in it called the "fifty first state" which means us. Would it be so bad to be American? Well I wouldn't mind but It wouldn't be a good idea for Britain. Why is everyone leaving?? Ohshit the class is finished. Wait is it English next? What day is it? AAAaaaannnnd so on.
So really im just a high IQ away from being an Idiot savant...Wait does that just me an idiot???......Balls
Books Im reading, Steven King still and Dr. Faustis for class
....Oh you wanted me to tell you what the stuff at the top has in common??? See how many you get yourself :)
Monday, 4 October 2010
It's a random thing
So, a double post. What, you may be wondering, have you done to deserve this? Perhaps you were a douche in a previous life :). This blog was going to be about how I wanted to make it more colourful by adding pictures and images. A habit from when I blogger before, unfortunately blogger doesn't "hold with that sort of thing". Oh don't get me wrong its happy with pictures from a camera etc but not wee moving smiles or any thing that kind of thing. So I'll have to go back to the drawing board on this one. I realise of course that this makes THIS post a biiiiiiit pointless and redundant. Sort of like using the words pointless and redundant in the same sentence.
Now I'm explaining to my flatmate what I'm doing, while I type meaning that I'm explaining how pointless it is even as I'm typing. She is reading these words as I type them ......Ok we'll stop there before I loose my mind entirely
So just ignore this one and hopefully what little of my mind remains will return tomorrow
P.S someone asked me today why I always start with "So..." I find it to be the blogging equivalent of saying "Hi. How are ya?" to someone before starting a conversation. Try starting a conversation without using that phrase or an equivalent....I'll wait.
Well why did you get your girlfriend out the shower to ask? You could of waited...Don't give me that look. Anyway she looked at you funny right? See can't be done.
Should I even post this one? I come off as more than a little loopy......Ah screw it
Books reading at the moment, "Ritchard Hammond's autobiography, and Steven Kings "on writing"
Not my fault he opened the shower door, he should have knocked. Why was she showering this late at night anyway?...bloody weirdos.
Now I'm explaining to my flatmate what I'm doing, while I type meaning that I'm explaining how pointless it is even as I'm typing. She is reading these words as I type them ......Ok we'll stop there before I loose my mind entirely
So just ignore this one and hopefully what little of my mind remains will return tomorrow
P.S someone asked me today why I always start with "So..." I find it to be the blogging equivalent of saying "Hi. How are ya?" to someone before starting a conversation. Try starting a conversation without using that phrase or an equivalent....I'll wait.
Well why did you get your girlfriend out the shower to ask? You could of waited...Don't give me that look. Anyway she looked at you funny right? See can't be done.
Should I even post this one? I come off as more than a little loopy......Ah screw it
Books reading at the moment, "Ritchard Hammond's autobiography, and Steven Kings "on writing"
Not my fault he opened the shower door, he should have knocked. Why was she showering this late at night anyway?...bloody weirdos.
It'a love thing
So, given I kinda "went off on one" yesterday cos I was freaked out about the nightmare today I'm gonna get back on track.
Love
Love is a many splendid thing, all you need is love, love is all around.
One of my favourite movie of all time is ..shhhhh. "the Holiday", the reason for this is because it features all the different type of love. Love for a good man/woman, love of you children, lost love, nostalgic love and of course unreturned love. Love, the purest emotion there is, that is not given back is a horrible feeling.
I'm not going to go on about this but I've been in love and it makes you a better person for it.
human being are, by nature, selfish creatures. We really only think about ourselves the majority of the time. Think about it almost every emotion you have is motivated one way or another is because your selfish.
Anger, this will affect me!, jealousy, why can't I have that!, happiness, something good has happened to me!.
Me, me, me.
But not love. Love is what happens when someone Else's happiness becomes your priority. That's why relationships fail. People forget that its the other person you have to be there for because they will be there for you.
Now this is not a totally unbiased view, im a secret ( not so secret, ed) hopeless romantic. Hampered of course by my male brain. I can wax lyrcal about love on the cold page but find myself only able to mutter an awkward "love you" with a blush in person. And thats even if I get the courage to say it in the first place. My usualy MO is to become friends first, set up in the freinds \one, and within weeks become the mayor and have endure this line more than once.
"You're such a good friend!! I would never date you it would ruin the friendship. Now help me with my boyfriend issues"
If I sound bitter, I'm not really because I really beleave if its right, its right. Dont let anyone tell you otherwise :)
anyway tomorrow, some jokes!
rate, comment subscribe
And love each other
Love
Love is a many splendid thing, all you need is love, love is all around.
One of my favourite movie of all time is ..shhhhh. "the Holiday", the reason for this is because it features all the different type of love. Love for a good man/woman, love of you children, lost love, nostalgic love and of course unreturned love. Love, the purest emotion there is, that is not given back is a horrible feeling.
I'm not going to go on about this but I've been in love and it makes you a better person for it.
human being are, by nature, selfish creatures. We really only think about ourselves the majority of the time. Think about it almost every emotion you have is motivated one way or another is because your selfish.
Anger, this will affect me!, jealousy, why can't I have that!, happiness, something good has happened to me!.
Me, me, me.
But not love. Love is what happens when someone Else's happiness becomes your priority. That's why relationships fail. People forget that its the other person you have to be there for because they will be there for you.
Now this is not a totally unbiased view, im a secret ( not so secret, ed) hopeless romantic. Hampered of course by my male brain. I can wax lyrcal about love on the cold page but find myself only able to mutter an awkward "love you" with a blush in person. And thats even if I get the courage to say it in the first place. My usualy MO is to become friends first, set up in the freinds \one, and within weeks become the mayor and have endure this line more than once.
"You're such a good friend!! I would never date you it would ruin the friendship. Now help me with my boyfriend issues"
If I sound bitter, I'm not really because I really beleave if its right, its right. Dont let anyone tell you otherwise :)
anyway tomorrow, some jokes!
rate, comment subscribe
And love each other
Sunday, 3 October 2010
It's a nightmare thing
So I'm a little twitchy today, I had a nightmare. In it I woke up like normal, got dressed, went to uni the whole thing. When I got home there were reports of a virus sweeping the globe. Before long it became clear that the virus was bringing the dead back to life. I was shitting myself. To me all this was totally real and I was now in a zombie apocalypse. This was a problem because lets face it the chubby glasses guy all ways gets eaten first. Especially if he's the comic relief. So we go to the supermarket down the road , steal some supplies ...and a car and we drive to the country. Again to me this was all real, the 8 hours of dream encompassed about 2 weeks. At one point , in my dream, I cooked everyone dinner. Fucking dinner, I remember chopping the bloody onions.
Anyway, as inevitably happens we take in a stray who didn't tell us he was bit and he goes nuts and kills half of us, all people from uni, and we set off again. I had to stab several friends in the face and cut of their heads This time with no supplies and no plan. Eventually we stop for gas and this is when I'm attacked. We bundle me into the car and drive off. My flatmate Claire, tells me she's sorry but we have to get rid of me I'm infected. I start crying and tell her I'm sorry. Then they kick me out of the car. I break a few ribs and my leg. The zombies, who have been following the car, catch me and tear me limb from limb. This is when I wake up with tears on my pillow.
It was so real, I got up locked the door to my room, turned on my laptop and the lights and huddled into my covers. The thing that really got me, the thing that despite the early time I couldn't get back to sleep, the worst thing was that I couldn't decide if I was still dreaming and it was going to happen to me again. That tomorrow id wake up as normal and by the end of the week id be broken and bloody on the side of a lonely highway.
Shudder
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I have to go fit a barricade around our front door
Anyway, as inevitably happens we take in a stray who didn't tell us he was bit and he goes nuts and kills half of us, all people from uni, and we set off again. I had to stab several friends in the face and cut of their heads This time with no supplies and no plan. Eventually we stop for gas and this is when I'm attacked. We bundle me into the car and drive off. My flatmate Claire, tells me she's sorry but we have to get rid of me I'm infected. I start crying and tell her I'm sorry. Then they kick me out of the car. I break a few ribs and my leg. The zombies, who have been following the car, catch me and tear me limb from limb. This is when I wake up with tears on my pillow.
It was so real, I got up locked the door to my room, turned on my laptop and the lights and huddled into my covers. The thing that really got me, the thing that despite the early time I couldn't get back to sleep, the worst thing was that I couldn't decide if I was still dreaming and it was going to happen to me again. That tomorrow id wake up as normal and by the end of the week id be broken and bloody on the side of a lonely highway.
Shudder
rate, comment, subscribe
I have to go fit a barricade around our front door
Saturday, 2 October 2010
I'm the man
So yesterday I was sitting at my computer and I head quite allot of screams from the hallway. I was going to get up and investigate but before I could my flatmates (including the two guys) came in and started gabbling that a wasp was in the bathroom and could I get it out for them.
Suddenly i was the man.
I'm not exactly an alpha male , pissing contests never interested me. I'm not into traditionally manly things such as cars, football and being racist so it's not an every day occurrence being "the man". The last time was a few years ago when I de-iced the freezer with a screw driver. My flatmate at the time commented that it was the first time she'd actually seen do anything "manly"
So what is manly?? What is this indefinable quality that makes you manly? Getting rid of wasps is part of it, as is de-icing freezers but how are the two related?. Its a mystery.
As I said before I'm not alpha male but nevertheless occasionally when I'm in the supermarket I am sexed by the terrible urge to buy some tools. Not that I'd use them you understand but just so I would have them there. Rather like Arthur Dent and his towel.
In an age where gender rolls are becoming more fluid is it even desirable to be manly any more? Do women, despite all the feminist literature, still like to see a man unscrew a jam jar lid or put up a shelf? Who knows....hang on I'll ask my female flatmate..... OK she says that its fine for a guy to hold open a door, or what ever but not because he assumes she cant do it for herself. She also says that being manly isn't on her list of things she looks for in a guy, hmmmm.
Do you guys have an opinion about this? Is manly on its way out or is there always a place for a little testosterone??
Rate, comment, subscribe I have to go put some shelves up.....grrrrrr
Suddenly i was the man.
I'm not exactly an alpha male , pissing contests never interested me. I'm not into traditionally manly things such as cars, football and being racist so it's not an every day occurrence being "the man". The last time was a few years ago when I de-iced the freezer with a screw driver. My flatmate at the time commented that it was the first time she'd actually seen do anything "manly"
So what is manly?? What is this indefinable quality that makes you manly? Getting rid of wasps is part of it, as is de-icing freezers but how are the two related?. Its a mystery.
As I said before I'm not alpha male but nevertheless occasionally when I'm in the supermarket I am sexed by the terrible urge to buy some tools. Not that I'd use them you understand but just so I would have them there. Rather like Arthur Dent and his towel.
In an age where gender rolls are becoming more fluid is it even desirable to be manly any more? Do women, despite all the feminist literature, still like to see a man unscrew a jam jar lid or put up a shelf? Who knows....hang on I'll ask my female flatmate..... OK she says that its fine for a guy to hold open a door, or what ever but not because he assumes she cant do it for herself. She also says that being manly isn't on her list of things she looks for in a guy, hmmmm.
Do you guys have an opinion about this? Is manly on its way out or is there always a place for a little testosterone??
Rate, comment, subscribe I have to go put some shelves up.....grrrrrr
Friday, 1 October 2010
Ok, time to do the essay....ooohhh shiney
So today I had my first essay to do in five months or so. It stuck me, as it always does when I write the bloody things, is how I can write 2, 000 words in a short story in an hour and a half, a blog in twenty minutes but It takes 5 hours to write a thousand words for an essay. It because of interest of course, I'm interested in my writing and my blogging but not so much in the causes of Chris Columbus and his inability to read a map.
That has to be crap of course because I love English and film and I love talking abut them so It cant be that.
I think it must be because I'm obsessive about the word count. The word count reaches the limit and I can knock off and go get some skittles so i watch it.
I was watching it today for my 1, 000 word essay earlier it ran like this
12.00-12.30: 503 words
12.31-12.45:525 words
12.46-1.00: 600 words
1.01-1.45: 1001 words
See the closer it gets to the limit the more I spend my time, sighing, eating crisps, stretching, cleaning my glasses rather than actually fecking writing. When I'm writing my stories I'm hunched over the keyboard attacking it like it called my mom something horrible.
The other problem is that I am usually excited coming to the blank page with writing. I'm looking forward to what happens with my characters as much as the readers are. With an essay you will do ANYTHING to avoid writing it. Last year when the essays had started to pile up my room had never been that tidy, my books were organised, the room was dusted for feck sake. It was at the point that I said to myself "perhaps I should get some ironing done" that I realised I had lost my mind and I needed to start writing the essay.
Point of fact I'm writing this when I should be editing the essay I just finished, damn it.
Comment, rate, subscribe so I have something to respond too rather than doing essay work
wait was the word count 1, 000 or 1, 500 for that essay ?? ahhhhhbugger
That has to be crap of course because I love English and film and I love talking abut them so It cant be that.
I think it must be because I'm obsessive about the word count. The word count reaches the limit and I can knock off and go get some skittles so i watch it.
I was watching it today for my 1, 000 word essay earlier it ran like this
12.00-12.30: 503 words
12.31-12.45:525 words
12.46-1.00: 600 words
1.01-1.45: 1001 words
See the closer it gets to the limit the more I spend my time, sighing, eating crisps, stretching, cleaning my glasses rather than actually fecking writing. When I'm writing my stories I'm hunched over the keyboard attacking it like it called my mom something horrible.
The other problem is that I am usually excited coming to the blank page with writing. I'm looking forward to what happens with my characters as much as the readers are. With an essay you will do ANYTHING to avoid writing it. Last year when the essays had started to pile up my room had never been that tidy, my books were organised, the room was dusted for feck sake. It was at the point that I said to myself "perhaps I should get some ironing done" that I realised I had lost my mind and I needed to start writing the essay.
Point of fact I'm writing this when I should be editing the essay I just finished, damn it.
Comment, rate, subscribe so I have something to respond too rather than doing essay work
wait was the word count 1, 000 or 1, 500 for that essay ?? ahhhhhbugger
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