Sunday, 31 October 2010

It's a Samhain thing

Happy Haloween and a blessed Samhain to you all.
I LOVE this time of year. I've already said in a previous blog why so we wont go into that but I just wanted to say that I do. Also half moon tonight
A fool moon is nothing special, but a half moon... a half moon exists on the edge of things. Anything could happen.
I finally finished all my essays...for this week. I can't even blame it on bad planing or anything because they were due when they were due. Nothing I could have done to prevent it, nevertheless its been a stress. I need one day now where im not bringing home with me. However Ive missed out on some stuff trying to get essays done so now i need to catch up with that. GAH!
I do try to view essays as a chance to show of what ive learned but this week has been a chore.
Im sorry the posts have been a bit lacking of late  but hopefully normal service will resume soon. This blog relies on me thinking random stuff then writing it down, at the moment my brain is just full of Shakespeare. So unless you want to hear about that?? Anyone?? you up the back it looked like your hand was raised?? No??? oh......


Hamlet presents us with a dichotomy for two reasons, first....ok ok sorry hehehehe

I'll leave you with a little bit of scare just cos its Halloween.
There was this guy who found a picture in the street. A poleroid of a girl flashing the peace sign at the camera. She was truly stunning this girl. A figure hugging black top and a short but stylish white and black skirt. He couldn't get her out of his head so he asked everyone in his Uni class if they had ever seen her. No one had so he gave up disappointed but still he couldn't let it go. Then one day he spotted her crossing the street and was hit by an on coming car. He was dead before he hit the ground but the car rolled over him leaving him almost unrecognisable.
All the police found on him was a picture of a cute girl in a black skirt. She was holding up three fingers to the camera.

G'night

Saturday, 30 October 2010

it's a famous thing

So this essay is really getting AH SOD IT I WAS ON THE RADIO TODAAAY.
It was awesome sauce. The uni I go to had just started it first radio channel and one on the programs on it is co-presented by a friend of mine and so they asked me on the show. It deals with movies (natch) and so I was on there talking about 3d films, the horror genre and a lot of other stuff that kinda got off topic. But It was really good fun and they asked me back so fun times.
It all felt natural and not at all scary like I thought it would be. . Id always stayed away from the idea of doing radio because i know nothing about music but it turns out that really doesn't matter so something to think about.
Just a quick one cos im still in the middle of essay land but what was ur 5 seconds of fame like?
Been on the news? asked ur opining for the paper?? saved a girl from drowning???
I have to go be famous now, I still have 4 minutes and 25 seconds left

Friday, 29 October 2010

It's a poetry thing

The postie has a thankless task
let me in!
he is won't to ask

Our hero is a postie man
who gets up at the crack of dawn
who has to walk, there is no van
who will slip on dog shite on every lawn
He carries a pack that weights a ton
that sound you hear is breaking bone.

One time he walked the steps to number 3
the man who answered was dressed in skirts
"Oi Postie is that packet for me?"
"Why yes my good ...man, for gods sake don't flirt"

He turned away with nea'ry a grin
but had to say something he's that kinda fellow
"I have to ask, don't kick me in"
"why are you wearing that dress of bright yellow"

The man looked down and looked back at our man
"You're right of course my face is aflame"
then with a flourish and an odd note of grace
he turned away with a muttering word
"Is that any way to talk to a dame"

The postie man walked away with a spring in his step
Despite the inflamed knee that was giving him jip
he thought to himself as he got to the last bit
wait till I tell the guys this, the best story Yit

So just for fun here's a new poem, haven't written any in a while and got the urge
Favourate poem??
Mine is Shakespeare's sonnet 116. Especially the line "Love is not times fool" powerful stuff

Thursday, 28 October 2010

It's an honesty thing

So....Honesty.
How honest should you be? Do little white lies just lead to big ones like weed is supposed to lead to crack? Or does the ability to lie keep all from killing each other. I consider myself to be an honest person but no one goes through thier day without lieing at least once. It doesn't happen. Even if you stayed home all day, didn't talk to anyone or anything you would have had to still lie to your boss/tutor so you could stay home.
Most lies are lies of ommision. If you dont bring up the subject or styeer the conversation away from the topic shold it come up. You still arnt telling the truth. I think lies of ommision can get you into truble but in the grand sceem of things are perfictly ok.
Then there are white lies. Yes I tihnk thats a good colour on you. No that hat doesn't make you liike like drug dealer. These lies are good too, because if you didn't have them you would be a, single for most of your life and b, prolly in jail.
Then there is a specific kind of lie. The lie that protects someone from themselves. Thats when someone asks you a direct question and you know the truthful answer  will hurt them and so so you lie.
The final kind of lie is the hardest to deal with. Lieing to yourself. Everyone doies it and if you were truthful to yourself all the time it be ahrd going to make it through the day. That said everyone needs a bit of self illusion as well as abit of self truth. A happy medium a always.
So what im saying here is that lieing.... is...... ok.....hmmmm an error seems to have crept in. Lieing isn't a good thing but I seem to have fallen on the side of its fien do what you want......

OK i'll tell you a story about lieing.
Once there was a young boy of about 4 or 5. Well call him Chri...jim. Jim had a problem with another little boy in school...several of them in fact. He wasn't allowed to feel part of anything adn join in any of theri raindeer games. One day one of the boys in Jim's class asked to borrow his sharpner. Jim said no. The other boy insisted he have it and Jim fearing he would never see it again said no again and pushed the other boy. The other boy jabbed Jim in the face with his pensil. When Jim got home his parents were very angry at what had transpired and asked Jim how it happened. Then Jim did a very silly thing. Gratified by all the attention and seeing a way to get back at the mean boys that made him cry all the time he lied. He said it just happened and that the other boy had no reason for doing what he did.
The boys father was very angry and Jim was scared but was now trapped in the lie. Jim's dad drove him all the way to the other boys house and made the boy apologise to Jim. But the boy told Jims father what really happened, the pensil sharpner, the shove, everything. Jim's dad was very quiet on the way back to the house and he said in a dissaponted voice that Jim had lied and that that was worse than anything else. Jim tryed to say sorry but it was too late.

Shudder
Anyway it looks like the subject of lieing has to be viewed ona case by case basis. With a genral edging towards truthfulness if you can.

My favourate lies are the ones that are obviously bat shit but are delivered with such flare that you don't care.
"I didn't get my essay done on time because my friend from out of town came to stay and downloaded porn onto the computer which wiped everything"
(overheard in the queue in the 'handing -in-essay-place')
fun times.
OK its not fair to ask about worst lie you ever told buuuuut I can ask what the worse/best excuse you ever heard??
my absoloute favourate was not a lie but brutal honesty, also in the queue for handing in essays.
"I dindn;t do the essay because I was hallosinating that I was a mermaid for most of the weekend"

P.S I kept the spelling errors in this one on purpose to show you just how much editing goes into this thing....stupid brain.

Tuesday, 26 October 2010

It's a habit thing

So I'm eating crisps. I really shouldn't as I have a mild addiction to them. Ie won't commit crime for them but will threaten people with physical violence if you were to eat my last packet.
When I finish a bag I fold it once, twice then twist it once and then tie it in a knot. I do this every time, always the same way. Sometimes I note things like that and worry that I might become obsessive compulsive but then I realise I'm too lazy for that so....
Everyone has stuff like that. How many times have you watched a girlfriend/boyfriend/husband etc... do something and think to yourself "pffft they freekin do that every time with their tea bag. Dip in twice then on the side of the plate. Or they always split open an Oreo and eat each section separately."
At what point though does it move from quirk to full blown psychosis? (a word  that apparently I can spell fine but struggle with  crisps...I always add an 'h', sigh)
Actually, tomorrow (If I remember) I want to post a blog with all the spelling mistakes in tact to see how much editing one of these things takes cos of my daft brain, should be fun.
...Did I just interrupt myself...twice??? Wow aaaaaanyway. The human brain is a complex machine and so its OK if it throws a cog every now and then. Some of my other habits include

doodling on any peace of paper that passes me by.
Playing with something like a pen lid or paper clip while I'm thinking or doing something else until I have destroyed it to its component atoms
whistle the same three or four bar tune (which I don't know) at odd times.
Say shut up Chris if I think Ive gone too far, in front of people, out loud.
change my pillow round and round through the night searching for the "cool" side

and so on. You know reading this list makes me want to take some kind of "So you think you're a nutter?" test.
I've only just scratched the surface as well. The really fun thing is that you can pass on these quirks to people close to you. I'm sure that the reason my brother twirls his wedding band round and round is because our father does the exact same thing. I started washing dishes with lots and lots of foam (more than you need trust me) after watching my ex do it over and over.

Oh and that doesn't cover the list of things I do with my specs. Wow we'd be here all night. I pull a really long face and push them up on my nose. I scrunch up my face to wiggle them back on if i don't have the energy for the finger thing. I take them off and rub my face if I'm trying to get my thoughts out of my mouth in some kind of order. I twirl the round by one leg.

SO,
You know what's coming don't you?
I would love to hear some weird habits of every ones. You know you want to. Probably my favourite is sometimes, when I think no ones watch i sniff my food before eating it. Not a sniff the milk to make sure its OK,  I do a wee sniff of a fork full.
Well I'm off there are some men here that want to fit me for a shirt with extra long sleeves that buckle up the back. Ttfn

Monday, 25 October 2010

It's Druk thung p[art 2

So its that time again.
Drunken blogging
I have two coping methods, 1 is making a joke and 2 i lie about how many coping methods I have. Joking is literally all I have. Seriously at my grandfather funeral (who I loved dearly and I wish to emulate in every  way)  when my uncle said "this calls for a couple of whiskeies" i said "good idea. Ill have a couple of whiskies too"
Dont get me wrong, i feel the feelings i just deal with them in a specific way.
Call me fat? Ill joke, say im stupid ill joke, birth of my first nehphew ill joke. Is it valid? i dont care this is the way i deal with things.
Point is im stressed about uni work, its not getting on  top of me exactly. its just hard and there is alot of pressue. this is my last chance to actually make something of myself. if i cant do this then i end up staking shelfs for the rest of my life. Im actually scared that i will be working in a shop till the day that i die and that i will never make my life worthy. i will die and people will say "chris ?? oh uh yeah i remember that guy, worked in tesco unill he was 55. Heart attack kinda sad" and thats it. after 6 months ill be gone for good
Well i say no fuck that. im going to make it, im going to get a degee with honers and im going to make myself and everyone else proud, but this does change the fact that right now i dont feel like i can cope?. how much work does it take before you crake?? it certainly doesn't make u week to neeed help or indeed when u need help if its right from the beginning or in ur 4th year. i think what im tryig to say is if you need to talk to someoe about it do so even if its a trusted friend ir a officional ....alternativly talk to me im  good listner, but if i mak a joke dont take it like im not taking it serouslt i am it justthe way i deal with stress.
Never feel bad that you feel overwhelmed, never feel bad that you have to ask for help and never ever give up just besace its difficult.
I have felt depression, I once stayed in bed for 3 months becuse i didnt see the point of getting up. Everyone hated me after all so what was the point. get a job? ill just be fired. get a girlfriend she'll just leave me "this too wil pass" so they say and im sorry if that seems glib or stupid but it will happen. You are not alone you  are not without Friends and family, you too can get over it.

Once i had lost my job, my girlfrfiend of 10 years, my flat, my life all in 3 months. I felt nothing. i felt lke there was no pont i felt i deserved the fate  because i was worth nothing.
It will feel hopeless, hard, without point. DO IT. talk to someone. say something. im so sorry but u have to say something to someone. of the hundred billion sperm that swum through that channel you wer the one that made it. you have the fight the drive to make it. and i bow down to you becuase you have the fight to make it.
I love you becuse you will nwver give up, you will make it beause deep down you will say fuck THEM. do it not because i say so but because YOU say so . FUCK THEM
you have to move on, if ur seeing someone that will help or if u jst have a partner that can keep the bad away.


Look you will fell overwhelmed, like it doesnt matter because you dont have a chance. but its opk to feel that wat but you cant let it  own you,  get angry, get even, get help even if its from me. next time u get an essay? "fuck you i can do this and in half the time!!"

m drunk, gonna go.im sooooo gonnnnna deleate this, the morra

Sunday, 24 October 2010

It's a commenting thing

So I'm on youtube allot. More than is healthy probably. (spelling fail, every word in that sentence was spelt wrong 1st time round). And the comments are getting me down. See once upon a time two things were true. 1.Not every one was on the internet and so the ones that were on, ie commenting on videos were a certain type. (12-18 boys that were nerds, computer programmers that were nerds, and perhaps 3 girls that were allowed to be nerds at the time).
(the opinion of this writer is that girls can be nerds if they want its just how things were then....He would also like to state id be totally awesome if more girls were nerds)
and 2.these people were socially malajused malcontent's that lived to screw this people.
This is simply not true anymore
98% (figure made up) of the world is now online and so the comments should be a rich tapestry of thoughts feelings and opinions....they are not.
A typical exchange
Imatit says: This is shit. Why bother posting this?
Smallpenis says: So fake.
Obviouslycompensatingforsomething says: Fag
           @Obviouslycompensatingforsomething: Your a fag. From wanker69
                @wanker69: It's You're not your. If you're going to insult someone get it right noob.
Spamsitethatwillkillyourcomputer says: Wow I liked this!! Want to see real films? go to WWW.dontclickthisforgodsake.com
Imatit: God spammers!!
Obviouslycompensatingforsomething says: Fag
Iwillneverfeelthetouchofawomen: 1st!!!!


And so on...
This means that the whole world now acts like this online. The internet has become the electronic equivalent of a high school bully. He no longer even knows why he thumps people or insults them, it's become a reflex.
Now I have so far resisted replying back to other peoples comments but i have posted comments on vidoes that I like.
A typical exchange
Penfold (this is me btw) says. I actually liked this. It made me laugh. Keep it up!
    @Penfold: Fuck me dude. Why don't you just suck his cock. from willdiealone
          @willdiealone: leave him alone. He's prolly a 15 year old kid who doesn't know what he's talking about.From hemeantwell
Obviouslycompensatingforsomething says: Fag

and so on...
What Im trying to say here is that just because the internet give you a certain anonimaty this means that people suddenly act like children. Does this mean that deep down everyone wants to throw off the niceties of society and run around covered in paint and screaming in peoples ear so they jump? I hope not
 I would like to think that people , deep down, are good people trying to do their best. That the nonsensical gibberish they put on the net is just venting steam over the fact that they may hate their jobs, or are failing math in high school etc...

OK worst/funniest thing you seen on a comments page?
Mine was when someone called someone else. a morose, pathetic thunderjobbie
Made me laugh all day.
Well I gotta go watch twenty compilations of hermoine/ron pictures on youtube set to some music that has long been taken down for copyright violations. ttfn