Of exams and self truth

Hiya
Soo for a while now, and by a while I mean 31 years or so I have been somewhat...self deprecating about myself. Now most of the time It's just me trying to be funny ( i do that). However it recently been brought to my attention that its not the most attractive quality. Who wants to spend time with someone who is down on themselves all the time after all.
I have had success recently with setting a goal and actually doing it (weight loss heh) so this is my plan. Perhaps ease up on the self depreciating humour. I'm not going to promise that I'll succeed absolutely right away after all its a hard habit to break.
Now thinking back i don't even know when it started. I was always like this weird, funny etc but when did the self ...hating thing start. i think it was high school. I always felt sorry for myself in primary school but didn't hae the mental capacity to understand just how much it wold affect me. But in high school is when it kicked off. I wont bore you with it all. Ive mentioned how much i hated that place until the tale has gone stale so we'll skip it.
Point is that it became a way of taking the insults as my own and so therefore i was in control.
However surrounded as i am by people who don't wish me ill it makes the coping technique a bit redundant
SO!
For a week I'll try and not "be that guy" im not going to turn into pure ego but for a change i'll try not and be someone who is down on himself.
Scary stuff.
Whats else is going on right now?
Revision.
I have an uneasy relationship with revision. When I was about 15 or so my parents would make me revise for exams and in my clever way i would dig my heals in and just not. That shows them, I thought, I'll not study HAH!
And then I failed my exams
So when it comes around for exam time nowadays I never feel like I do enough. Plus I still have a healthy dose of laziness about my personality heh. But then who doesn't.
Someone said that their definition of insanity is trying something the same way every time and expecting something different every time.
My revision is like that.
I do nothing, expect to pass and then dont.
See, crazy :)
Aaaaaanyway. i want to say to everyone, Good luck with your exams. Try not to worry too much you'll be grand. And i wont slag myself anymore....for a week heh
This post was brought to you by BUDWISER