The three type of people

There are 3 types of people in this world. The introverts. The extroverts. Then there is me ;)
The introverts: Frank how you get that cut on your forehead
Uh I cut myself shaving
But...Its on your foreh.....
SHAVING!
The extroverts: Frank how you get that cut on your forehead?
Whoa! There was this women and she was being attacked. by two NO three guys with baseball bats, no, machetes.. Tell a lie it was 4 guys...... and a tiger
Me: Chris how you get that cut on your forehead?
Well.....I was in the shower, and I sneezed. Cracking my face off the wall. Disorientated and in pain I got soap in my eyes (and in the cut). I tried to find the water again, my eyes squeezed shut, and fell out of the shower. I lay on the floor, naked, bleeding and in pain.
And then the cat walks in (oh this story happened a few years ago now btw). The cat has always hated me and I can clearly see in her eyes the spill words "Another proud moment for you Chris?"
Then it decides my back would make a good bed. She hops up to my back and tried to curl up. I try and shake her off and she digs the claws in.
Can you imagine if more people were like me?
Can you imagine if you boss showed up late for work and his reason for being late was not his car broke down or he slept in? But he'd locked himself out of his house naked and when he'd tried to get his neighbours to help they called the police.
I think the world would be a happier place. True Id have to find a new thing to make me unique but id be willing to take the hit :)
Something to think about

Its a drunk thing part..um prolly 4 or 5??

So! Hiya!
What I wanted to talk about today is something a little different from the norm because usually when something pops into the empty abyss that is my skull it is because it is something that i know something about or have personally experienced but today I want to talk about being gay.
Like most gay people I knew right from the start what I looked for in a partner however because I'm straight It was an easy thing. I never had to sit my parents down, look them straight in the eye and say " mom dad I like bewbs".
Frankly in this day and age the fact that being gay is still an issue frankly annoys the crap out of me. When was the last time you actually talked to someone actually cared wither or not you were gay, straight or even a star trek fan?? You cant remember can you? See i grew up in the 80's where being gay was only just coming into the mainstream and frankly the people that came after me had even more tolerance in their side. I look forward to the day when my niece and nephew say something like "oh look theres Brians dads. Aww arnt they cute together" because that's where its all headed. And i know im sure some of you wil say thats a rather rose tinted view but frankly I honestly think that's where its headed.
Why has this come up? well i saw a picture recently of an older guy , in his 80's say and he was hlding a sign saying "gay for 80 years and proud of it" or something. and it being the interwebs there were many...MANY comment underneath it. Some were funny, other encouraging other still didn't give a crap but there were some that were still very negative.Now i am not and never will be the person who says my opnions are right and every one else is wrong but disliking someone for being gay is like disliking someone for having red hair or glasses. Its just part of what makes them who they are.
I think the problem is that most gay people come to associate there identity with their sexuality simly because some people have such a opposing view point of it. And who hear amoung us has not wanted to be different at some point. No im serious, everyone reading this has at some point wanted to NOT be one of the sheep. youve died your hair, or got a piercing or started wearing superhero t shirts when ur in your 30's....or whatever...coff.
aaanyway. what im trying to say is that it so shouldn't matter that i should delete this whole thing!! noone cares anymore! being gay is no longer an issue or shouldn't be and and i think that is something to celebrate.
Going back to the beginning here. I dont know what its like to be gay, or what its like to be judged for loving the peope you love but i do know what its like to be viewed as different.
So thats my two sence on it. Gnight and listen to your uncle chris, dont drink and blog. its not good for you

Of songs and snapshots

heloooo and welcome to another blog.
Drums fingers on the computer table....
I'm spending allot of time in front of the computer lately. Deep in the middle of essay land, so I decided to take a break from typing to do some typing. Hell later on I might do some writing ¬¬
The hand in date for the essays is the 28th, then on the 30th I've got an exam. Then two more exams and then 2nd year is over.
I literally can't believe 2nd year has finished. This year has been...interesting. Some things happened that I just didn't expect and took me a while to get through. Another birthday came and went and my Dundee birthdays have always been awesome so that's good. There are still some things hanging over my head, finding a new flat and revising for exams are the two main things. I also found myself so broke in February that I had to put myself on rations. However it showed me that I actually don't need to eat as much as I thought I did so that's good to know should I ever find myself in some kind of war situation. Something tells me I wouldn't be needed much at the front line...Heh can you imagine? I'd be guy who fumbled the grenade and blew himself up two weeks out of boot-camp.

So there are two P!nk song in my life right now and if you haven't already I urge you to go check 'em out.  They are "Rise your glass" which is just awesome and one song that is guaranteed to get you in a party mood and "Fucking perfect" which ...well it just speaks to me. There is one line in particular which just gets me every time.

" You're so mean, when you talk to yourself, you are wrong. Change the voices in you're head, make them like you instead"

Im sure we all have a small voice in you're head that doesn't like...well....anything about you that you give almost anything to silence. The thought has never occurred to me to try and get my voice on my side instead.

So facebook is doing this strange thing at the moment for me. Sometimes when Im on someone else's page it has, on the right hand side, memorable  status updates from the past. I've looked and I cant find any way of accessing my own updates in this way.  Ive been looking at some one them, some are funny, some sad and some have a lump in your throat pathos because the people who posted those updates are eather no longer the same person or you know that say three weeks after posting such a happy update it all went to hell for them. Its a strange verbal snapshot into lives from years ago that are unique to us. There is no way, unless you keep a diary ( and frankly when have you EVER shown anyone your diary),  for people who dont have facebook to know just what was on their mind 2 years ago on a certain day. Its quite sweet really

Well Im off... TO THE COMPUTER!!!!!....ah fuck

Women

HIYA!!
So ( insert standard apology for not doing this in ages here)

N.B, I'm going to mention some names here, if the people who's names are mentioned ever read this......meh its my blog and you know id never slag you off or hurt your feelings on purpose.
Women. Where would we be without women? The old saying goes "women, cant live with them cant live without them"
this is true to an extent. I was in a relationship for a long time and I came away with a few strong opinions towards women, however this was not the first impressions of women i ever got. The first woman I ever knew was a girl called Maureen. She was my classmate when I was 4 till I left that school at 11. Now She was a girl who would not heasatate to kick your ass if you said something that she didn't like. When the occasion called for it she would eve inter-seed sometimes when she felt the bulling i received got too much. She taught me that girls are the same as boys except they can kick harder. Even at the age of 5 i knew I had stumbled upon some rare knowledge.
Then there was Flora. She was a girl I knew in high school and had a certain "Sod you" attitude that i appreciated since I have a desperate need for everyone to like me and so i tend to turn the other cheek more than is healthy. She taught me that you don't need to be accepted to be happy, and that in doing so , you become happy because you are being true to yourself.
When I went to college I met a woman called Karin and we dated for ten years. Karin was a very special mix of vunability underneath a layer of solid rock. She would do anything for you, go out of her way to help. But cross her and she would fry you alive with her laser vision. She was awesome. She taught me that if you have the love of someone like that you were untouchable.
So you see my life has been populated by strong women who fight for what they beleave in. some for love, others for friendship and some still who fight just cause they enjoy it. The point is that I have been shaped by these people and made me the man I am today because of their attitudes.
Today I am surrounded by many women( you know who you are) who wont take you shit. i in fact seem to attract these people to my life, I have no time for the " I broke a nail, carry me to the car these are $550 shoes" crowd. For me a woman is strong, independent, wont take your shit but will help you when you need it and give you a skelp round the lug when you need that too.
In closing, I humbly suggest you turn to whatever strong woman is in your life and think how lucky you are to have someone who wont bullshit you. And if its the woman who shares you bed?? Even better

A really foul time of year....no foul as in a type of mood its got nothing to do with birds...ah forget it

So!!! Did ya miss me
You know I read somewhere that this is the most depressing time of year. Christmas and new year have come and gone, summer is so far away and valentines day is coming up. And frankly not all of us are in a committed relationship with our right hand ( that said an astonishing trend has started with people around me getting engaged left and right) I mention this because today everyone around me had come down with a major case of grump.
I too have fallen ill with this debilitating disease and so I decided to come home and brush off the old blog.
I wondered first off if i should be ranty or angry, or even if i should start with my standard apology that i give every time im away from blogging but i decided not to. Instead i think ill go with my tried and tested ramble crap till its funny stick i do so well.

Recently as im sure everyone must be aware right now im on a diet, which is going well thankyou for asking, but its gotten to a dangerous stage. I've done well enough that a tiny voice in my head is whispering that one cheeseburger wont hurt. This is bad. Its happened before. It starts with one chippy and suddenly helllooooo chins.
So none of that. However today for example I had a bowl of cereal, a chicken sammich an apple , three or four bottles of water and dinner is chicken noodle soup ( i have chicken to use up im being  a frugal student lemmie alone ). So why am I still hungry?? Perhaps i have that disease that means you're always hungry.... what's it called?? uh...fatbasterdites i think aaanyway. My local shop just opened a small take out joint inside it, sorta like a low rent version of KFC. This is bad. See now why cant a health food shop open nearby? Well ill tell u why. have you ever been inside of one of those places? No of course you haven't , only people mad from hunger and too much excersise go in those kinda places and lemmie tell you. What they think is a healthy alternative to cheeseburgers?? bird seed.
Now i wanna stay healthy but if all they can offer me is seeds then they can stick it up their shakras. I mean come on if your going to compete then you have to have an alternative that isn't also eaten by things with beaks and feathers ( you know the people from Britains next top model tv show)
For me the real badness happens when you add a bad food to a food that's already bad.
Burger with chips= bad
cheeseburger with chips= really bad
bacon sammich= bad
bacon sammich with cheese= youd better leave the room you dont want to watch this......
What was I talking about? Well im sitting in-front of a computer so im guessing an essay..
The unification of Germany happened in 1870....no wait thats wrong.
Wow total meltdown just cos i mentioned a bacon and cheese sammich......ah bollocks

Aaaaanny way im seeing a pattern there. Perhaps the way forward is to add cheese to things.

Money is another issue for everyone atm. ( HAH!! atm...hehehehe, shut up I make my own fun)
It seems as soon as we get it it all goes away again. So im gonna have to think of alternatives to going out and having fun. And there is only so much staying and having fun on you own you can do before you start to chafe, so fun activities in a group that cost nothing.....Hrm...Monopoly? No always ends up as a game of cludo, you know  the killer is..your mate bob, in the kitchen, with an empty bottle of bud. Cards? no no money for booze so no drinking games....you can use cards for non drinking games?? sounds a bit suspicious to me.
Actually do homework  and hand it in on time? Aaaahhahahahahahhahahhahahaha
Errrrmmm, read? bit anti social...blimey this is hard...Play COD? nah ive already had one anurism today thankyou
Ok ive got it. Next time your in a bit of a foul mood. Invite a mate round to your house, watch some shite telly together and remember why your mates in the first place.
And if that fails give me a call, Im always ready to listen.

Wow ok fingers tired so this is done for now. Stay smiling
Tffn

It's a like thing part 2

So...I like
I like when someone says Hi with genuine feeling, I like when i peace of music moves me to tears, I like when my mum hugs me and you can feel she will love you no matter what, I like a good episode of a new tv show, i like when you put on a new shirt that's still warm from the dryer, I like the little red box on facebook telling me someone has noticed something ive  said, i like when you can first smell spring on its way all green and full of promise, I like a good beer buzz, i like dancing and not realising everyone is watching me, a like a genuine moment between two friends that makes you remember why you are friends in the fist place, i like a really good stretch, i like a good book, i like writing a good story and knowing its good, i like the expression on someone's face when they are in love with you, I like the unchained expression on someone's face when when they let go for what ever reason, i like a good cheeseburger, i like being alone with my thoughts, i like me as i am now, i like being toasty warm under the covers, i like cuddles, i like when someone stands up for what they think is right.
what do you like?

Patience...or lack thereof

 So, I lack pacience, in whatever endeavor I attempt I am unable it seems to do it in such a way that will allow me to keep my pacience.
I cant even spell pacience which as we speak is annoying me. I'm talking about simple little things that should be a quick something or other on a check list. For example standing in line at the ATM. There are only two people in front of me. The first one goes, pushes the buttons beep beep beep and takes his money and leaves. Guy number two however is a problem. First of all he looks at the machine like he's never seen one before like he's some kind of time traveller from Victorian times come to see how we all get on and is now confounded by this wondrous device. Then he gets his card out. He puts it in and carefully reads the instructions....every time....and puts in his key number. Then he sits and figures out just how much he wants
now by this point little rivulets of stress are pouring down my face and I'm taking deeper and deeper breaths to hold in my impotent rage.
He finally decides and his the button. His money comes out and then he waits for his receipt..and its over...BUT WAIT theres more. He puts in a different card in and then starts topping up his phone and I explode in a volcano of molten crazy all over him.
And thats just going to an ATM, you can imagine what I think of the bank, supermarket, shops, buses....etc.

Another thing I'm hopeless with is turning up on time. Let me re phrase. I always turn up time, cant help it wired that way. Even if I am a few moments late it annoys me. Further more it annoys me more when other people make me late. Say for example every ones meeting at 5. Now when people say 5 they really mean 5.30 -6ish. But if they say 5 i have to be there for 5. Have too.(every time I say "they" from now on it means anyone Ive gotten ready with not just people I'm living with now, K)
So I'm ready to go, clean, shaved, showered and sitting on the couch at 4. That leaves an hour to get there and some extra time in case of buses breaking down etc.
Everyone else is still wandering around half naked with towels round their heads or standing in front of mirrors with holding up different shirts. I walk, as calmly as i can, to different rooms enquiring to the state of readiness and im usually met with a set of words that makes me cry with rage "aye ready in 5 minutes" because its not 5 minutes, its never 5 minutes. If its 30 minutes say that....daont say 5 and mean 30....just don't.
4.30 has now been and gone, i enquire again this time using shorter words...eyah those are the words.
I am again told 5 minutes
Around about this time i start to sulk about the whole business and let them do what they want. I read or go on the interwebs or whatever. Usually about 5.30 they come round and in a jovial way say "are you ready?" so i grind my teeth to powder and force a smile

So I have a character flaw big deal we all do. What I don't like is that when OTHER people say "I have to eat m dessert first" or "i cant travel by bus" or "I can only sit on an isle seat on a plane" I am tolerant of these things because its what makes people people. But when I say "Hurry up we'll be late" I get a
                                                     "Aye ready in 5 minutes"

SO what is your one thing above all others you have to have right or you'll go batshit??